Well, I did it.

[Kiltedmusiclover]

Great to have you on the board!
Wives are funny about kilts.
Often they do not like it at first.
When you wear it out and they see how other
women respond to kilts, then they change their view!:-D

[Jerry]

Welcome to the board. I guess I was lucky. I got my first kilt after my wife and I attended our first Celtic festival and saw all of the guys wearing kilts there. She told me, "you have to get yourself a kilt." I did, and then another and another. Now I have 6 of them, the last one a USA traditional in my favorite though. However, I saw a gentleman wearing a black 21st century kilt. It really looked good, more like a traditional, done in black than a modern kilt. I'm really thinking about it now.

[Alan H]

It took the Mrs. about 5+ months to come around, but she did, and with a vengeneance. She still isn't sure she approves of this at work, not because she doesn't "approve", but she's concerned that everyone else will see me as some weirdo and it'll impact my job. Well, it's been almost six months and no sign of it yet, so 'nuff alrready.

You know she's come around because now it's HER prerogative to disapprove of my kilts, but if anybody ELSE disapproves, **watch out!!** LOLOL!

[jfellrath]

Welcome to the board. I guess I was lucky. I got my first kilt after my wife and I attended our first Celtic festival and saw all of the guys wearing kilts there. She told me, "you have to get yourself a kilt." I did, and then another and another. Now I have 6 of them, the last one a USA traditional in my favorite though. However, I saw a gentleman wearing a black 21st century kilt. It really looked good, more like a traditional, done in black than a modern kilt. I'm really thinking about it now.

JerMc -

I can go you one better. I'd wanted to get a kilt of any kind for a long time, but after I saw Utilikilts for the first time I told my wife I was going to have to get one. Well, we were expecting our first child at the time, and she told me to hold off till after he was born and we knew how the finances would go. So I grumbled around for a while.

Then, for our anniversary/my birthday, she surprised me by getting one for me!

Then, when my sister told me that I couldn't wear my UK to her wedding because it was "too casual", my wife said "well, we'll have to get you a real tartan kilt!" And we did.

Yeah, my wife is DARNED cool.

LordDamax -

I'd suggest reading some of the advice they give at kiltmen.com, particularly the advice for convincing wives and girlfriends. She may love it, she may not, but be ready with some great words of wisdom from other kilt wearers when it arrives.

Jamie

[Doc Hudson]

Welcome aboard.

If your wife doesn't come around, we do have some lawyers in the group who might offer divorce assistance.

[LordDamax]

Well, it arrived yesterday. Opened the package, I said wow.

Went to a friends house after work to get some work done (we're remodeling their home) and his wife told me to try it on. Well, I did, and she loved it. Told me it was very sexy. Her kids laughed their asses off at me "Hahaha he's wearing a dress! Mom! He's in a dress! Bwahahhaha!" It was all good fun though.

Then I went home.

Here's the comments in no particular order:
* 'What the hell is that?'
* 'No it doesnt look masculine at all it looks like a dress!' (she's on crack, this UK is swanky as hell, I love it ;)
* 'That is the most assinine purchase you've ever made' (which is a real accomplishment for me... my pinball machine had previously held rank as 'most assinine' purchase ever)
* 'THAT cost $80?? Jesus christ' (Yeah I fibbed about the price. She was pissed it was $80, if I had told her it was $145 she'd have had an anurism)
* 'It's a novelty item you're never gonna wear again, of course I'm irritated'
* 'Ok, I'll bite, WHY is it so damn comfortable?' (Anyone have an anaology I can offer to her? For someone who physically doesnt have the parts, how do you explain?)
* 'You filled the truck with gas in that thing? And you got out of the truck to do it? Oh my lord'

And the kicker, the one I KNOW will keep me from going out in public with her in it:
Me: I assume you dont want me out in public in it?
Her: Because people will look at you!
Me: Oh, so 'look at the guy in a skirt', huh?
Her: No, 'Look at the fat girl over there with the guy in a skirt!'

Aaigh. Needless to say there are self-esteem issues at play here, and it's OT for this board... but any suggestions that don't have to do with her weight? I know I cant fix that, so I'll focus on what I can ;)

[davedove]

It sounds to me that the problem is not you in a kilt, it's the attention you will draw to yourself, and to her by association. There's not a whole lot you can do about that. The only way that her mind may be changed is if people start telling you how good you look, and how good you look together. Of course, if you don't get out in public, that will never happen. One piece of advice is to always look your best when you do wear the kilt. That way at least you're presenting a good image.

[Kilts_Knave]

Just ordered my casual USAK a minute ago! Got it in McLeod hunting. I hope I didn't get it too short. Is 19" on a 5' 6.5" frame, big ***, stumpy legs too short? Oh, well. (BTW My partner went from "It's a frivolity!" on Monday to "I don't care!" today -- a victory...)

[LordDamax]

From what I've read in my research, measure from where you will wear it to the bottom of your knees. Or better yet, kneel on the floor, and measure from the floor to when you'll be wearing it.

I'm 6' and my UK is 24" long.

Oh, and today, 24 hours later... my wife is still pissed ;)

[Alan H]

All I can say is this...

You are your own person. You don't tell her what to wear, I assume. You don't tell her what she can eat or what she can think. In fact, I would guess that if you tried to do those things, she'd be a lot more than pissed.

All right, then. If you don't try to define those things for her, then where does she get off defining those things for you? I would gently but firmly go point that out in a face-to-face discussion. Then I would wear the kilt whenever you wanted to. I mean, use some judgement, here. If you plan a special night out for her birthday and you know she despises your kilt, then don't wear it on "her" night. You don't have to wear it every single day to every single freaking occasion. There's a difference between being your own man and making your own simple decisions about your life....like what you're going to wear.... and shoving your views down someone elses throat. So use some common sense and remember that you love the woman, right? Be good to her, be aware of her issues and work with them.

But the flip side of being good to her is that she needs to be good to you. You have the right to decide what you want to wear. She has an obligation to respect you enough to deal with that. If she has issues with her weight, they are HER issues, not YOUR issues. You love her and you need to be aware of those issues, you need to help her with those issues, but when HER issues are presented to you so that she says YOU have to adjust YOUR behavior to make room for HER issues....

*wrong*

Turnabout's fair play, eh, so don't expect her to make huge adjustments in her behavior to deal with your issues.

When I deicded to wear a kilt, the first time I stepped out of my room with it, and my Highland shirt on, she was furious. It was too girly, it was a change from what she was used to, it was effeminate. I looked in the mirror and agreed in part and I took off the Jacobite shirt. It still didn't pass muster with the missus. So I took it off that night.

But I know that I have the right to wear what I want. I also know from hard, HARD-LEARNED knowledge that if I let my wife run roughshod over me and don't stand up for my rights, it might make today a little bit easier, but next week and next month and next year will be bloody hell. So after the third or fourth time when I wore it and I got "that look" and a little comment I turned around on the spot (we were at home) and I let her have it.

I have the right to wear what I want to wear.
I don't tell you what you have to wear.
If you don't like it, you can keep your comments to yourself.
...and you can lose the little "looks", too.

It took about five minutes, if that. I knew I was right and I wasn't going to take any flak back from her about it. I don't do this often...like not even once every two years. I don't go looking for fights with my wife, you know? But I'll be damned if I'm going to let someone else tell me what I'm going to wear, for God's sake.

I still sometimes get a look, but the upshot has been that I demanded respect for my very simple decision, and I got it. It's JUST A FREAKING KILT!!! It's not like I'm doing a sex change operation or something.

On the other hand, a month later we went to a dance concert for her birthday. Now, my wife love modern dance. I'm not so hot on it, but after all, she goes to my jazz concerts without complaining. I married the woman and I love her. I can make myself go to a couple of modern dance concerts with her every year. I can have enough respect and love for her that I can leave my kilt off for a night out on my wife's birthday, because I know she's happier if I'm wearing pants. I wore pants. I can put her desires first, sometimes. I don't need to ram my kilts down her throat at every opportunity.

What's the upshot of this, now that it's almost 6 months later?

I still sometimes get a "look". Sometimes the "look" comes with a comment about how she knows she doesn't have anything she can say about it...which is correct. It's edgy and a bit passive-aggressive, but I put up with it. If it gets any more out-there, though, she's going to hear about it, and it's not going to passive-aggressive. Nope, I'm going to get right in her face. Pick your battles, heh? Well, I pick this one, if I have to..

BUT.... We went to the San Francisco Symphony a few weeks ago. I wore my Ramsay kilt, white hose, black shoes, semi-dress sporran, white shirt, blue tie. I looked reasonably sharp if you ask me. On the way out, after what seemed like a nice conversation, a guy said "Oh, I thought you had a REAL connection with Scotland when I saw you in the kilt."

My wife ripped into the guy. "He belongs to a Clan and has every right to wear a kilt" she snapped. In other words....I am HER Man, and If HER Man wants to wear kilts, then she has the right to disapprove but everybody ELSE had better STFU. Pretty darned funny.

HER man and HER Man wears kilts if he wants to.
Right ON, woman, mine.....

I wish you the best of luck. Stand up for your rights. Do it with strength and integrity and humanity, but stand up for your rights. In the end, and the end is probably not very far away, the kilt itself will become a non-issue. Your own behavior will command the respect that she, in her heart, almost certainly wants to give you.

If she cannot give you that respect, then it's my humble opinion that the issues you face are much, much, much more than anything a kilt might present.