Quote Originally Posted by KiltedCodeWarrior

Sigh, sitting here kilted at work and depressed, which doesn't seem right somehow.

RJI
These are tough issues, and when you love someone, there aren't easy answers. The old "I'll do what I want and everyone else can just EAT it." attitude doesn't work so well, when the objections are from your spouse and you love them.

I'd say this... make sure that she knows the lengths to which you went to get the OK at work. Talk to her, kindly and wisely and LISTEN. LISTEN, and listen hard and try to understand what she is saying. Listen to see if she is understanding what you are saying. Consider the option of compromise, as in, what if you wear a kilt to work one-two days a week instead of every day? Is that workable?

Here's an insight that might help. I'm an enthusiastic sort of fellow. If you don't like me, you could substitute the word "erratic" for "ethusiastic". Some peole do. I tend to get interested in things for a few months or a year or two and then move on. I'm not like that regarding *everything*, I've been sailing for fifteen years for example, but I do it a lot. My wife sees these activites that I have for 6 - 24 months as "hobbies".

She is concerned that I'm indulging a "hobby" ....kilts....which I will have for a year, at most two. She's afraid that I'll move on in a year or so and not be so interested in them, but that in the process of wearing them to work, I'll have torpedo'ed part of my career.

I have to be honest with myself...she has a point, in terms of my "enthusiasm".. We don't have kids so it's not so much of a big deal, but she does have a point.

Are you in the same boat? Think it over. I will also be honest with you and tell you that I wonder. You have only been on XMarks for a few weeks, and yet you've put up a couple hundred posts, and have undertaken a major assault on the world....wearing a kilt to work in a very conservative financial institution. It's not like you've been wearing kilts for years, eh? Are you like me...the enthusiastic sort, that sometimes people see, as much as they love us, as a little bit erratic?

Be fair, be honest with yourself and with her, and think it over. What if you wore a kilt to work only one day a week for three months. You know, "casual friday"? How would that go over? Offer compromises?? Slow down a bit?? If she cannot offer compromises back, if her stance is "my way or the highway...lose the kilts or I'm leaving" then you have to do some serious thinking.

You love her...is she worth the kilts? Kilts...wife, I know which one wins out in my book. I like kilts, but I love my wife. It's no contest, and the kilts stay on the hanger an donly come down for Highland Games and Celtic music events....but wait..

Does she love you? If she did, would she give you no options, dictate her way and give you no alternatives? Is that love? What kind of love? Have you ever dictated anything like that to her? Is she IN FACT, doing that?

Tough questions, mate, and I bet you won't have answers tomorrow. It's going to take a while, and the answers you'll find are worth more than a closet full of custom-made worsted wool tanks.

Good luck.