a son? yeah, right...

[Shay]

As a former single mom myself, I was very cautious about who I told my daughter about or whom I told about her- while I'm not all, "Oooh! Pedophiles are peeking through the cracks!" there is a legitimate concern that someone could pretend to love me to get to my daughter... sad though that is for everyone involved.

I'd say keep seeing her, and ask her what she thinks is a reasonable point for you to meet her child and how. If she says RIGHTNOWOMGLETSGO... eep. If she says something like, "Maybe you can come over for a dinner when we get to know each other better," that's pretty normal. Anything low key (remember, 2.5 year olds are a bit noisy, smelly, and rammy by their nature, so maximize the comfort level) is fine- just try to remember that the kid's not going to be interested in you for a while since, as my darling husband put it, "You're the one who takes Mommy away."

[bubba]

My friend Rob went out with Tina for 3 months before he met the kids, but he knew about them after a couple weeks. He went kinda slow with them after he met them but by the time he married Tina he was another grownup to get hugs from and cuddle with when they didn't feel well. He did have doubts for awhile about taking on a readymade family but now he couldn't imagine not being their daddy.Something like this just takes time and a sharp limit on expectations. If it works, great. Best to be friends for awhile before even considering more.

[auld argonian]

To be serious...perhaps if you are going to meet the little dude you should plan to do it in a very casual way the first time...as if you and the young lady "just happened to run into each other...we know each other from school" and "say, if you have a few extra minutes, why don't we stop and get a cup of coffee...". Just think that the casual approach takes any pressure off every one and would let the two of you feel out how the kid is reacting to it all.

Best

AA

ps: ...and I envy you your youth...if I were in a situation where I was meeting a girl my age that had children, the children would probably be in their thirties!

[GMan]

Life sure is full of surprises isn't it?

Sort of a neat surprise, but it is a responsability. After the initial schock wears off, it may just work out well. It sounds as if you are progressing at a good pace. Good luck.

[davedove]

You're only 22 and you've only been seeing her a couple of weeks! Relax and take it slow. First of all you don't really know her so you can't know how it will turn out. Just take it easy and see what develops. Yeah, you might not be ready to be a stepfather, but nobody is asking you to do so yet. You've got a lot of years ahead of you. This might be the right one and it might not. Only time will tell.

[Macman]

All of this advice is good. It also brings back some memories for me. My wife was a single mom when I met her. When we started going out, her son was almost four. I was a single dad with three older kids. There were ups and downs (to put it really mildly!). I am now the proud stepdad of a 17 year old who is about to graduate from high school.

I guess the point is, it's still early days. See how it goes!
Best,
David

[AckZel]

ps: ...and I envy you your youth...if I were in a situation where I was meeting a girl my age that had children, the children would probably be in their thirties!

"Youth is a gift, but getting older is a form of art." -Juha "Watt" Vainio