Product Warnings!

[davedove]

I love this one:

Bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

[Freelander Sporrano]

I still like ...May contain Nuts... :-D :rolleyes:

[Manu]

Actually I rather like the idea of borrowing a product warning in it's entirety:

"Warning, product contains nuts!"

That would definetely answer the question!!!!

[Andrew Breecher]

"Objects Under The Kilt Are Bigger Than They Appear''

Oh no, they're just as big as they appear! ;)

Andrew.

[Jerry]

One of my favorite product warnings was om the label of a bottle of "Tink's Buck lure. It said, "Real esturus doe urine" Followed by a stern warning, "not for human consumption"

[GlassMan]

What's really sad, in our litigious society those warnings are actually needed just in case some total dumb a** does something stupid and then a money-hungry lawyer coaxes them into sueing.

Reminds me of that case which forced McDonalds to put the "Warning Contents Hot" labels on their coffee cups.

I swear, every now and then I can't help but wonder if the gene pool needs a little chlorination.

[bubba]

That coffee case wasn't really all stupid. There's a maximum temperature allowed for coffee in places like that and that particular McD's was substantially above that and had been repeatedly cited for it. There was a history involved that didn't get much coverage.

[GlassMan]

That coffee case wasn't really all stupid. There's a maximum temperature allowed for coffee in places like that and that particular McD's was substantially above that and had been repeatedly cited for it. There was a history involved that didn't get much coverage.

Ahhh, well that is a little different. But it while it seems the lawsuit was appropriate I still don't see why that should require a warning on a hot cup of coffee.

[Southern Breeze]

Here's why warning labels are needed.

Common Sense passes away.

Common Sense, aka C.S., lived a long life, but died from heart failure at the brink of the millennium. No one really knows how old he was, his birth records were long ago entangled in miles and miles of bureaucratic red tape.
Known affectionately to close friends as Horse Sense and Sound Thinking, he selflessly devoted himself to a life of service in homes, schools, hospitals and offices, helping folks get jobs done without a lot of fanfare, whooping and hollering. Rules and regulations and petty, frivolous lawsuits held no power over C.S.

A most reliable sage, he was credited with cultivating the ability to know when to come in out of the rain, the discovery that the early bird gets the worm and how to take the bitter with the sweet. C.S. also developed sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adult is in charge, not the kid) and prudent dietary plans (offset eggs and bacon with a little fiber and orange juice).

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, the Technological Revolution and the Smoking Crusades, C.S. survived sundry cultural and educational trends including disco, the men's movement, body piercing, whole language and new math.

C.S.'s health began declining in the late 1960s when he became infected with the If-It-Feels-Good, Do-It virus. In the following decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of overbearing federal and state rules and regulations and an oppressive tax code. C.S. was sapped of strength and the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, criminals received better treatment than victims and judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to professional baseball and golf. His deterioration accelerated as schools implemented zero-tolerance policies. Reports of 6-year-old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing classmates, a teen suspended for taking a swig of Scope mouthwash after lunch, girls suspended for possessing Midol and an honor student expelled for having a table knife in her school lunch were more than his heart could endure.

As the end neared, doctors say C.S. drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments regarding regulations on low-flow toilets and mandatory air bags. Finally, upon hearing about a government plan to ban inhalers from 14 million asthmatics due to a trace of a pollutant that may be harmful to the environment, C.S. breathed his last. Services will be at Whispering Pines Cemetery. C.S. was preceded in death by his wife, Discretion; one daughter, Responsibility; and one son, Reason. He is survived by two step-brothers, Half-Wit and Dim-Wit.

Memorial Contributions may be sent to the Institute for Rational Thought.

[GlassMan]

I Love That!