Best quips/retorts to Kilt questions...

[bjcustard]

Where's your bagpipes ?
--Under my kilt.

Nice skirt.
--Do you know why they call it a kilt?
--Because that's what happened to the last person
--to call it a skirt.

Are you Scottish?
--All the best parts are...
(this usually leave the questioner puzzled whilst I make my escape...)

And my personal favorite:
Why are you wearing a kilt?
--I needed the room.

[Andrew Breecher]

Woman: What's are you wearing under there?
Me: Good girls ask, bad girls find out.

Man: Hey! What's under the skirt?
Me: An ******* detector - it's working!

Andrew.