Wife's Lament

Kilts in the bedroom, kilts in the hall,
kilts in the kitchen, kilts on the wall.
Find ‘em in the closets, find ‘em on the floor,
They keep coming in the mail till I can’t close the door.
Haven’t found ‘em in the freezer, and they're banned from the bed;
But I wonder what it is that's in a kilthound’s head?