Kilt Do's and Don'ts

**Panache** · 7th June 06, 02:20 PM

Originally Posted by Livingston

So, is this going to be part of your new signature block??

Livingston,

I have thought about it. There is some really important good advice in there.
I just wish more people would follow it.

Sadly people being attacked by rabid wolverines with chainsaws is more common than you think.

In a recent government report by the Bureau of Diseased Large Dangerous North American Mammals Wielding Hand Held Power Tools (B.O.D.L.D.N.A.M.W.H.H.P.T.) states that every year an average of 3.5 people are killed by rabid wolverines with chainsaws. B.O.D.L.D.N.A.M.W.H.H.P.T. spokesperson Nathan Price said during his address at the September 2005 Western Biology Conference at Stanford University that “ 3.5 people is too many to lose to such a brutal scenario, especially the .5 part which is particularly nasty being that the average adult Wolverine can easily manipulate a 16” to 18“ MuCulloch.” Mr. Price went on to state that actual numbers of people being attacked by rapid wolverines operating chainsaws may be significantly higher than the B.O.D.L.D.N.A.M.W.H.H.P.T. estimates. Mr. Price concluded that “A lot of people don’t know about Attacked by Rabid Wolverine with a Chainsaw Syndrome (A.B.R.W. W.A.C.S.) They may assign the blood (and limb) loss, foaming at the mouth, and possible death to other phenomena such as contact with lead based paint, exposure to asbestos in their ceiling tiles, or weather balloons. “

I urge any of my fellow X Markers that think they may be suffering or have suffered from A.B.R.W. W.A.C.S. to contact the B.O.D.L.D.N.A.M.W.H.H.P.T. or go to their website nsa.B.O.D.L.D.N.A.M.W.H.H.P.T. /.A.B.R.W. W.A.C.S./http@.gov.org. and report the incident and/or symptoms. You are advised to remain at home until an member of. the bureau comes to interview you or your next of kin. Attacked by Rabid Wolverine with a Chainsaw Syndrome can only be defeated with A.B.R.W. W.A.C.S. awareness. Protect yourself, protect your loved ones. Get the information you need about Attacked by Rabid Wolverine with a Chainsaw Syndrome. Thank you .

**Kilted KT** · 14th June 06, 11:57 AM

Originally Posted by Panache

...people being attacked by rabid wolverines with chainsaws is more common than you think.

I think this is only slightly less prevelant than "Attacked by a kiltie wielding an empty single-malt bottle".

this usually occurs in the wee hours of the morning, with the attacker charging and blathering something about more scotch.

bee on the lookout.