Dealing with objections

[beloitpiper]

In my family, my father is the Scot, but my mom is 100% German....and she doesn't get it. My father is very much in support of my bagpipes, kilts, the whole thing, but my mom is not as tolerant. She doesn't like it when I wear a kilt casually, and she's not too fond of the pipes either. I've told her all about the Clan and the history on my father's side, but she just flat out doesn't like it.

She claims it embarasses her in front of her friends, saying "I don't wear a durndel when your friends are around!!" to which I reply "Go right ahead, the only person that is stopping you is yourself." I would apologize, but for me a kilt is not a mere piece of clothing. It is a memorial and testament to my family. I would hope that she, and anybody else would respect and appreciate that.

And guess what? If I'm going to pay $600 for an article of clothing, I'm damn well going to wear it whenever I want! I'm not going to let it be eaten my moths, I'm going to show it off! It's her problem if she doesn't like it, but I'm not going to compromise myself and my heritage for her personal tastes.

...by the way, I offered to wear leiderhosen, but she said that was out of the question. :rolleyes: Looks like I just can't win!

[Kilted KT]

In my family, my father is the Scot, but my mom is 100% German....and she doesn't get it. My father is very much in support of my bagpipes, kilts, the whole thing, but my mom is not as tolerant. She doesn't like it when I wear a kilt casually, and she's not too fond of the pipes either. I've told her all about the Clan and the history on my father's side, but she just flat out doesn't like it.

She claims it embarasses her in front of her friends, saying "I don't wear a durndel when your friends are around!!" to which I reply "Go right ahead, the only person that is stopping you is yourself." I would apologize, but for me a kilt is not a mere piece of clothing. It is a memorial and testament to my family. I would hope that she, and anybody else would respect and appreciate that.

And guess what? If I'm going to pay $600 for an article of clothing, I'm damn well going to wear it whenever I want! I'm not going to let it be eaten my moths, I'm going to show it off! It's her problem if she doesn't like it, but I'm not going to compromise myself and my heritage for her personal tastes.

...by the way, I offered to wear leiderhosen, but she said that was out of the question. :rolleyes: Looks like I just can't win!

I'm of the same opinion... if you are going to spend the kind of money it takes to buy a proper kilt, then go ahead and wear it. My wife falls into that category where she would rather see conformity than individuality, where I am the polar opposite. I wear the kilt at every possible opportunity, both for my self and my heritage. Once I get my argyll jacket, I'll wear it everywhere!

As for a few of the other comments, the saturation approach works best form what I've seen. The more people see that you are going to wear the kilt, the less likely they will be to say anything about it as time goes on.

Whatever you do, don't give in a replace your kilt with pants or some other non-kilted whatchamathingy!!!

[Schultz]

I've always been "the weird one" in my family, from my days of multicolored hair and leather and spikes, through boots and braces, and now the kilt. It's almost expected of me.

My parents know better than to say anything to me. I know my father thinks its daft, but he keeps his mouth shut because he's always said, "I don't give a damn what you do after you turn 21 so long as its not criminal." My mother can't believe I wear it out in public all the time, but that's just because she still thinks I care about what other people think. She does, however, get excited when I finish making a new kilt because I'm the only one of her children who's really taken after her in the sewing department and she's quite amazed I do it all by hand.

My 16 year old neice already thinks I'm totally strange so wearing a kilt, for her, is just par of the course. My 10 year old nephew, however, is a bit hostile to it, but that's because he's a total conformist just like his dad (my brother). For him, it's okay for a Scotsman to wear one (and by Scotsman, he means someone born and raised in Scotland), but not okay for his uncle to wear one. He and I usually give each other wide berth, but that's because I think he's a brat and don't put up with any of his antics/tantrums and he knows it.

Ironically enough, my in-laws are the most supportive. For those of you who remember, my mother-in-law wasn't the most accepting of my wearing of the kilt at the wedding, but she has come around. Her only comment in recent months has been, "What, doesn't she let you wear pants anymore?" and that was said in an obvious light-hearted manner. They ask questions about it and accept the answers at face value.

I think one of the key factors in getting family who aren't receptive to casual kilt wearing to accept it is to remain as non-defensive as possible. Wearing a kilt must become a matter of fact, so to speak, and being defensive about it can lead to arguments, animosity, and resentment. Keep yourself, at least, cool and just be who you are.