I watch people when they come up to me. I was with a friend once when a very young woman came up to me and started touching the fabric of the apron and asking the question. I told her that she was much too young for me and that if I showed her we would have to get married. Her eyes widened a little at that point.
Some dipstick at a meeting grabbed the back of the kilt . I felt it lift and turned quickly. There was fear in his eyes as I dressed him down. He proclaimed that He was "just joking" I gave him the look that has been known to wither small trees and strike terror into the hearts of miscreants every where. Learned it from my father. SHortly after he was never seen again. Useless sod!