How about the "alternative" words to Wild Rover...

And it's No, Nay, Never
(shouted by drunken crowd) RISE UP YOUR KILT!
No, Nay, Never, No more
(shouted) UP YOURS!
And I'll plaaaaaaaay the wild rover
(shouted) f- you!
No Never, No more.

Last "shout" can be changed to something else or omitted if it's a "family friendly" place.