Is this how you feel?

[mddock58]

Martin - In no way should you let ONE incident make you generalize on all kilt wearing. As was said before, maybe there is a sentimental attachment to the kilt regarding his wife, and wearing it would just remind him that she's not there with him.

I go out alone, with my son, or with my wife, there is no problem, as there should not be!

If you need someone to help you feel some confidence the first few times you wear it, no problem.

And there should be no big deal if you decide to wear a kilt or not. It's just another piece of clothing, and you choose what you wear based on how you feel, and what you are doing!

[Dirk Skene]

Because of the way my wife feels about kilts I usually am unaccompanied, unless I am meeting other kilties.

[Riverkilt]

Great thread! With thoughtful stuff from Mike1 and Matt.

Don't have a wife.

Wear kilts to pride festivals with no worries, and I'm still straight - just not narrow.

What I'm getting out of this is that wearing a kilt as a "normal" garment is still out on the fringes of fashion - particularly when worn for something other than a Scottish heritage event.

I think I noticed it most last week when I wore pants to work for two days. No one on the street was doing double takes. I was just another guy going about his business. Felt like I was some sort of undercover spy seeking to blend in. And I did.

When it came time for jury duty last Monday I decided to wear pants, so as not to distract from the process. Our little City Magistrate Court only gets about three jury trials a year. The same thing happened again, I was just another guy who showed up for jury duty. Kept the focus on the accused and facts in the case.

Made that choice having been kilted in the same court before. But the previous appearances were in the course of work and I was called in without notice.

So, being back in pants, and making that decision to wear pants to jury selection, helped me appreciate the social comfort other men get wearing pants to conform and not be "out there."

As for the wife security thing I can appreciate that too. The only time anyone has made a serious kilt check on this olde geezer was a quite intoxicated young man at a Pride Festival....

We gotta have empathy for other folks feelings and fears.

Ron

[turpin]

Remeber what Panache says:

"The kilt is a fashion choice, not a requirement"

I wear mine 6-7 days a week, but may also wear p$#ts for a while those same days. Don't really have significant feelings of ambiguity. That's the otehr guys problem.

this morning I woke up way late and had to get the kids up and out in 15 minutes. Threw on some p$#ts and a shirt. one doesn't just throw on a kilt, except maybe a UK, and even then I have to decide on hose and shoes.

I'll change into a kilt later. I actually prefer to be kilted when out and about.

[cessna152towser]

When I first started wearing kilts I only wore a kilt to country dancing and the like and would have wanted my wife with me for support. That's here as a Scotsman in Scotland so I'd imagine an Englishmen in France who only wears a kilt for the dancing may feel the same. Nowadays I don't give it a thought and wear kilts unaccompanied almost every day.

[Fearnest]

I've rarely been "accompanied" when kilted, but that may have something to do with the fact that my sweetie lives on the other side of the continent! (GRRR!!!) When we are together, she's always very eager to see me kilted - for a special event, or just "out and about."

We don't get a lot of kilts (even fewer traditional kilts than contemporary kilts) in this part of West "by God" Virginia, but every now and then I'll see one (other than in the mirror). Most comments come at work, but they're slowly getting used to it, too.

This is not an area with a large gay community (of which I'm aware)... most of the "presence" here seems to be rainbow stickers on cars. That being said, the number of those I see increases daily, as more and more folks choose to live out here and make the 90 - 120 minute commute in to the district. So times are changing, even out here in the hinterlands.

[Raphael]

As much as I love my kilt, I still wear my pants/short all the time. Sometimes, it doesn't make sence for me to wear my kilt to go out at all.

[Julie]

I agree with M.A.C Newsome, sometimes you don't want to wear a kilt because you inevitably have to face your public who want to talk to you. I have always said that the day no one talks to me when I wear a kilt then I'll stop wearing it but it can be tiresome at times always having to be nice to people who want to ask you questions (I always believe that kilt-wearers should be polite and set an example)
I remember a couple of years ago on a caribean cruise ship that any night I wore my kilt, my partner and I would have to answer a barrage of questions about the kilt. Eventually I found some quiet corner of a bar where I could remain incognito and relax and be myself.
Although I have always enjoyed frequently wearing the kilt I feel that at times there are pressures that go along with wearing it. Does any other member feel the same?

[flairball]

My kilt wearing has been for the most part solo ventures. My wife initially disagreed with my wearing a kilt but has slowly warmed up to it. I think she is even starting to like it.

As for sexual ambiguity while wearing a kilt; I've never felt it. Around here everyone knows what a kilt is so it is never a question of sexuality, but of circumstance; where are your bag pipes?, are you marching today?, etc. However, it is my belief that people want things understood correctly from the start. If the local population somehow begins to associate kilts with homosexuality then one who is straight may adopt the tactic of either "kilting in accompanyment" (just made that up. What'da ya think?), or wearing pants. What is wrong with that? Sexual orientation is a significant part of identity and character, straight or gay. If one doesn't want any ambiguity as to their sexual preference then so be it. An example of this is names. Some people have names that are difficult to pronounce, so they usually make a point to say their name in a way (slowly) when meeting new people. Nationality is another area. My wife is Japanese and finds it annoying when the employees at the asia market assume she's Chinese and speak to her in Chinese.

[Bob C]

Pardon my pointing this out, but have you considered you may be missing the mark entirely?

Did you bother to ask the gentleman if there was some special, sentimental value in only wearing his kilt in his wife's company? Perhaps his kilt was a special gift from his wife? Perhaps his wife asked him not to wear it? Or did you just assume he was afraid to wear it without his wife being present?

Sorry, but some of you really leave me wondering about the level tolerance you demonstrate. I see so many of you crying out for wives, co-workers, employers and the man in the street to be tolerant of your desire to kilts. Only to then turn around and demonstrate a total lack of reciprocity, when it comes to another individual's wishes.

I have to chuckle at times to see how a man wants to wear a kilt as a statement of non-conformity, yet that same man will turn around and belittle another man for wearing his kilt differently.

Maybe it's not about individuality after all...

This attack was unprovoked and unfair. Martin asked the man why he didn't wear the kilt and he got an answer.

Your response presupposes that Martin had bad intent when there is no evidence of that. You should apologize.

I expect I'll get a demerit for criticizing the moderator, but I call 'em as I see 'em.