Wow that IS bad!

Now, Ladies & Gents of the Kilted Forum please allow me to present the next exhibit of “pretentious bad movie prologs” From the a for mentioned “Plan 9 from Outer Space”

"Greetings my friends. We are all interested in the future for that is were you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friends; future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown, the mysterious, the unexplainable that is why you are here. And now for the first time we bring to you the full story of what happened on the fateful day. We are giving you all the evidence, base only on the secret testimony of the miserable souls who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places, my friend we can not keep this a secret any longer, let us punish the guilty, let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts about ‘grave robbers from outer space’!"