kilts, wife & harleys

[McClef]

Take the Harley, sell it and buy kilts with the money!

[cavscout]

I like the way you think Trefor

[jdbenson]

Being a Swede means you've got Viking blood in you. And as we know, Vikings got around, especially into Scotland. For instance, most of the northern Scottish Ilands were once owned by Norway. So saying you've no right to wear a Kilt is just plain WRONG. Your ancestors helped to populate Scotland! You've got a huge right to wear a kilt.

[Alan H]

Honestly, the Harley is irrelevant, here.

Thre are two potential issues, and two things to think about. One is what Panache pointed out. I mean, really....wearing kilts vs. spending your life with the woman you love? Get real.

The second issue is a bit deeper. If she doesn't like kilts, she's absolutely entitled to tell you about it. And as her husband and someone that loves her, you have the responsbility HEAR what she's saying and give it good, solid, honest consideration. You need to take her seriously and not brush her off. But the question is, is she trying to control your decisions in a way which is not compatible with love and marriage?

I don't know the answer to that question. Hopefully, you will.

When my wife resisted kilts and made fun of them both verbally and with body language, I put up for it for a few weeks and then one day...in fact twice in two weeks, I reamed her a good one, NOT about kilts... NO.

...about trying to control me and make my own decisions for me....about trying to manipulate me where she wanted me. That's not loving, that's not what partners do for one another. I didn't pull any punches either, set her right back on her heels. I told her that I loved her very much but that love didn't mean ceding control and dignity to the other person.

Now, those are MY issues. If I was honestly placed in a situation where I had to choose between being married to the Luminous Joan, and wearing a kilt now and then....come on, get real. I lived just fine without kilts for 48 years, I'm sure I can do just fine without them for 30-40 more. I wouldn't trade Joan for anything, certainly not 48 yards of polyester and wool in my closet.

[McClef]

That's well put Alan H - control is an issue which goes beyond kilts to many different areas.

My ex wife wanted me to like everyone she liked and hate everyone she hated.

Hence one of the reason for the ex as she turned against my own family.

Even though she liked me in a kilt.

[Rigged]

While women have been wearing pants since the 1930s -- for working in factories while the guys were at war, by "counter-culture" women (hippies, bikers, actresses, cowgirls), and by women who were openly gay. It's only been acceptable as normal, everyday wear for women since the late 1970s.

Women went through the same struggles we go through now -- being called "Diesel Dykes" and other derogatory terms, being threatened and even beaten by their husbands (and even strangers sometimes), and employers who were slow to allow change.

I'm sure many of our ladies remember those days -- and maybe some have chosen to forget.

[ccga3359]

Slick, you are not the bad guy here, the wife is. Why do you have to choose? You went to war, you've worked hard all your life. You have made compromises all your life why should you have to choose? You have every right in the world to wear a man's garment. If your wife has a problem with you wearing a kilt then I suggest that she be the one to deal with it. My wife is not overly enthused with me being kilted but honestly it is her problem not mine. I support my wife's interests. Now Mrs. McVarmit said that if you gave up kilts that she would buy you a Sportster, I say if you buy the Sportster then you can keep the kilts (and get a new shooting iron to celebrate your compromise). A new bike will be a big expenditure kilts will not be (unless you buy more).
Failing this, hold out for a 1953 Vincent C series Rapide or Black Shadow. I see you on a Vincent.

Wait the compromise is this:
You won't ride your new Sporty kilted!

[Finn]

I agree that it is about control/change. If the kilts were part of your life before you met her, they are relevant. It is something which you need to work out.
Look at it this way... The kilts are not a destructive hobby or exspense. If you were gambling, abusing drugs, dropping whole paychecks on strippers...
Explain about the clothing, but also the community and the benefits you (and she?) get from your having a kilted life as an outlet. There are far worse hobbies & activities that you could be engaging in.
Good luck!

[brandycr]

As a woman Im lost .Id rather have my man take me on a bike ride all day then wear a kilt later on best of both worlds.Both of those things make a man sexy as .....well can not see the problem as to her not wanting you to wear them.However I agree a marriage and love is more important than any clothes ever could be.I suggest sitting down talking to her asking why she feels that way (not being ugly at the time)and ask why she doesnt want you to wear them.Sometimes a good talkcan work wonders.

[mcvarmit]

ladies and gentleman,
all your replies were just great, i let the wife read them, it had the desired effect. i suppose were're all somewhat controlling, some more than others? i still get the bike and we will have aggresive negoiations about the kilts.

knew i could count on this group for a diversity of views.

semper fi

slick