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                                                20th December 07, 08:00 AM
                                        
                                
                                
                                        
                                                #1
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                
                        
		 
		
		
		
		
			Those Darned Scots
		
			
				
					Bono, lead singer of the rock band U2, is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous.
 
 At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow, he asked the audience for total quiet.  Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds.
 
 Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone,
 
 "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."
 
 A voice with a broad Scottish accent from the front of the crowd pierced the quiet...
 
 "Well, stop doin' it then, ya evil bastard!"
 
				
					Last edited by Panache; 20th December 07 at 03:42 PM.
				
				
					Reason: Family friendly forum
				
			 Animo non astutia
 
	
	
		
                        
                                
                                        
                                                20th December 07, 08:18 AM
                                        
                                
                                
                                        
                                                #2
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                
                        
		 
		
		
		
				
				
		
			
				
					If you liked this joke then you MUST watch South Park episode #1109: More Crap.
 
 It can be found here in streaming video along with every other episode.
 
	
	
		
                        
                                
                                        
                                                20th December 07, 08:58 AM
                                        
                                
                                
                                        
                                                #3
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                
                        
		 
		
		
		
				
				
		
			
				
					
	
		
			
			
				
					  Originally Posted by McFarkus   Bono, lead singer of the rock band U2, is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous.
 
 At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow, he asked the audience for total quiet.  Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds.
 
 Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone,
 
 "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."
 
 A voice with a broad Scottish accent from the front of the crowd pierced the quiet...
 
 "Well, stop doin' it then, ya evil bastard!"
   
 Chris...
 
				
					Last edited by Panache; 20th December 07 at 03:41 PM.
				
				
			 Youth & Enthusiasm are no match for Age & Treachery
 
	
	
		
                        
                                
                                        
                                                20th December 07, 09:03 AM
                                        
                                
                                
                                        
                                                #4
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                
                        
		 
		
		
		
				
				
		
			
				
					 
 Perfect!  Just perfect!
 
	
	
		
                        
                                
                                        
                                                20th December 07, 09:10 AM
                                        
                                
                                
                                        
                                                #5
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                
                        
		 
		
		
		
				
				
		
			
				
					Reminds me of the old W.C. Fields joke -
 Kid comes to W.C. Fields' house, knocks on the door.  When Fields opens the door he says, "Mister, can you spare a dollar for crippled children?"
 
 Fields reaches into his wallet, pulls out a ten, gives it to the kid and says, "Here's ten dollars, cripple ten of them."
 Ol' Macdonald himself, a proud son of Skye and Cape Breton IslandLifetime Member STA.  Two time winner of Utilikiltarian of the Month.
 "I'll have a kilt please, a nice hand sewn tartan, 16 ounce Strome. Oh, and a sporran on the side, with a strap please."
 
	
	
		
                        
                                
                                        
                                                20th December 07, 10:57 AM
                                        
                                
                                
                                        
                                                #6
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                
                        
		 
		
		
		
				
				
		
			
				
					
	"A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink."
		
			
			
				
					  Originally Posted by Riverkilt   Reminds me of the old W.C. Fields joke -
 Kid comes to W.C. Fields' house, knocks on the door.  When Fields opens the door he says, "Mister, can you spare a dollar for crippled children?"
 
 Fields reaches into his wallet, pulls out a ten, gives it to the kid and says, "Here's ten dollars, cripple ten of them."
 W. C. Fields
 
	
	
		
                        
                                
                                        
                                                20th December 07, 03:02 PM
                                        
                                
                                
                                        
                                                #7
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                
                        
		 
		
		
		
				
				
		
			
				
					That's priceless!   JayClan Rose - Constant and True
 "I cut a stout blackthorn to banish ghosts and goblins; In a brand new pair of brogues to ramble o'er the bogs and frighten all the dogs " - D. K. Gavan
 
	
	
		
                        
                                
                                        
                                                21st December 07, 06:48 AM
                                        
                                
                                
                                        
                                                #8
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                
                        
		 
		
		
		
				
				
		
			
				
					I like it !
   
	
	
		
                        
                                
                                        
                                                21st December 07, 07:40 AM
                                        
                                
                                
                                        
                                                #9
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                
                        
		 
		
		
		
				
				
		
			
				
					That is just too funny.  It's already going around my office.  Thanks for the laugh.   
	
	
		
                        
                                
                                        
                                                21st December 07, 05:15 PM
                                        
                                
                                
                                        
                                                #10
                                        
                                        
                                        
                                
                        
		 
		
		
		
				
				
					
				
		
			
				
					That joke is always funny, no matter how many times I hear it.
				 
	
 
	
	
 
	
	
	
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