Missions of the Retrieval Team - A Kilt By Any Other Name

[davedove]

Scene 22

Secret Headquarters of the KLF

Grant looked from the paper to David, and then turned to me. “You’re telling the truth; you really are from an alternate Earth?”

“Yes,” I answered, “And our David is the person we came to bring back.”

David sat down at the table with us. “Maybe you should tell us the whole story.”

I told them the whole story of my trip, from the initial activation of the portal, until our capture by the police.

“So,” said Grant. “Jamie, Todd, all the others, they’re still alive on your world?”

“Yes, alive and part of the League of Moderators.”

“Amazing,” David said, “That things should be so similar, yet so different.”

“Speaking of similar and different,” I said, “What happened on this world? How did you get to be known as terrorists? And what is it with kilts?”

“It all started just a few short years ago,” David began. “A company known as Globo-Fashion was a new and growing fashion conglomerate, so much so that it gained international attention. Ivana Rulital, the head of the corporation was invited to all the big events. She was even invited to an event at the White House. It was shortly after that when the President announced the creation of a new Cabinet post, the Department of Aesthetic Affairs, and recommended Ivana for the position.”

“Aesthetic Affairs?” I asked.

“Yes, charged with ensuring that the people of the United States present themselves to the rest of the world in the best way possible. Sounds harmless enough, right?”

“I guess, unless they started requiring uniforms for everyone, or some other nonsense.”

David shook his head lightly. “You’re not far off of what really happened. Shortly after she took her seat, Ivan started recommending bills to the President, and he presented them to Congress. These bills required people to start dressing in certain ways, so that the country could show its unity.”

“Surely Congress wouldn’t take these bills seriously? What about freedom of expression?”

“That’s what most people thought. They figured that the members of Congress would just throw the bills out as frivolous, or perhaps lose them in committee. But Ivana began having meetings with key members and soon they were all supporting her bills. They all passed easily.”

“Didn’t the courts overturn the laws? Or did Ivana get to them as well?”

He nodded. “The first of the laws did go before the courts, but Ivana pled the case herself. The judges agreed with her and the laws stood. Oddly enough, even the attorney who represented the opposition agreed with her. Shortly after that, she began introducing bills that expanded her influence. Anyone not wearing what her department deemed as appropriate was charged with creating a public disturbance. And appropriate dress changed every year. If someone does not wear this year’s, or at the most last year’s fashion, they are arrested. Those without the resources to get the latest fashion are placed in work details until they work off the cost of the new wardrobe. Of course, the next year they still cannot afford the change, so they go right back to the details.”

“What kind of work?”

“That’s the beauty of Ivana’s system. Those forced to work are placed in factories that make clothes. Those poor souls are making the instruments of their own imprisonment.”

“What about the people? Didn’t they stand up to this?”

“Some of us did. We here at X Marks led a campaign to overturn the laws. We went among the people to get them to stand up to this restriction of their freedom.”

“What happened?”

“We were labeled a subversive organization. Our activities were declared illegal. And since we wore kilts as our symbol, kilts were declared to be the symbol of our subversive organization.”

“So you went underground and worked from the shadows.”

“We had to. Every law enforcement agency in the country was after us. And since our message wasn’t getting across, we had to take more direct actions. We started freeing those who had been arrested under the fashion laws. It was then that we were labeled a terrorist organization.”

“And laws were passed to remove the rights of suspected terrorists,” I said, remembering my experience with the sheriff.

“Exactly, we had very little space to work. All of our actions were declared illegal and we couldn’t even dress as we wanted in public. So we did the only thing we could. We had to continue the fight, so we formed the Kilted Liberation Front.”

“The KLF, so you could continue your operations under cover. What happened to the Great Hall?”

“We destroyed it.”