For All the Writers On The Forum

**davedove** · 12th November 08, 12:50 PM

Originally Posted by Phogfan86

"At the first annual X Marks the Scot Literary Awards Ceremony, the Kilties."

Speaking of writing... one of the rules is, there's no such thing as a "first annual." The first occurrance of what is intended to be an annual event is the "inuagural." An event can't be annual until you've had it more than once.

Yeah, but with all the dimension-hopping and messing about with the time-space continuum, although it's the first one we had, I'm not sure it's the first one we've held.:crap:

**Southern Breeze** · 12th November 08, 05:33 PM

Rob Wright mentioned that he has writings available off-site. Does anyone else out there post elsewhere as well?
If it's risque, warn us in advance.

Thanks.

**Rob Wright** · 12th November 08, 11:33 PM

Just in case anyone is wondering, no my offline writing is not risque, that style was sold under a nom de plume back in the day

Rob

**Pleater** · 13th November 08, 03:11 AM

Originally Posted by davedove

Yeah, but with all the dimension-hopping and messing about with the time-space continuum, although it's the first one we had, I'm not sure it's the first one we've held.:crap:

I just got an invitation to the ninth annual Kilties in 2017, with a letter telling me I am up for an award for the tenth year in sucession so I think there might be a Zeroth one in the offing. So that would make the First one 'annual' as it is the year after the one we will have held last year.

I think I am getting the hang of this time line business.

It is all logical if you look at in the right way.

Anne the Pleater

**Panache** · 13th November 08, 10:33 AM

Originally Posted by davedove

At the first annual X Marks the Scot Literary Awards Ceremony, the Kilties.

Starbkjrus is presenting an award. "And the winner for best screenplay is davedove for "Missions of the Retrieval Team - A Kilt By Any Other Name."

davedove moves to the podium, shaking hands with the other nominees, Panache and Pleater, along the way. He takes the small statuette from Starbkjrus and then steps up to the microphone.

"I don't know what to say," he says. "This is all so unexpected. I am so honored. I guess I would like to thank the members of X Marks the Scot for this honor. I also want to thank the other nominees for their wonderful tales; they deserved this honor just as much as I did."

"Again, thank you; thank you all." He walks aways with the attractive woman who escorts him from the stage.

He is overheard talking softly to her. "So, how would you like a part in my next movie?"

Madam Pleater and I continued to clap politely as the winner of the golden statute left the room. The lovely young lady at his arm escorted him to one of the Great Golden Hall's small elevators but did not join him inside. As the doors began to close I waved at Mr. Dove and gave him a big smile.

Madam Pleater, noting this, adjusted her glasses and remarked "I am most glad to see that no trace of animosity remains between you and Mr. Dove. You didn't seem bothered at all by being bested by him tonight"

I turned to her and replied "Well Anne, there are two factors at work"

"What would those two factors be my dear Airship Captain?"

"First, that these small stories are written for the sole purpose of amusing the good Ladies and Gentlemen of our forum. Our bounty is measured in their delight. That is a far more golden prize than any statute"

"...and second?"

"Well my dear Director, the second would be the knowledge that Mr Dove has entered one of Freelander Sporrano's special elevators..."

Producing a small metal control box from my sporran I pushed the prominent flashing red button on it. From the direction of the closed doors of the elevator came a whooshing sound and a piercing shriek!

I smiled and said to a somewhat startled looking Madam Pleater "Quite interesting where some of those elevators can go actually. I do believe that it is time for cocktails. Would you care for a Martini?"

Cheers

Jamie

**davedove** · 13th November 08, 10:53 AM

And to think, I actually voted for Panache for best lead actor.

Next time I am definitely casting Pauly Shore for the part of Jamie in my stories.

Not to worry, my eyebrows will grow back soon.

**starbkjrus** · 13th November 08, 11:24 AM

Originally Posted by Panache

snip...

I smiled and said to a somewhat startled looking Madam Pleater "Quite interesting where some of those elevators can go actually. I do believe that it is time for cocktails. Would you care for a Martini?"

Cheers

Jamie

Oh my!

**Pleater** · 13th November 08, 12:23 PM

Oh - and I was quite pleased with my 'Most artistic kilt check in a motion picture' award.

I've even been told that there are so many kilted men loitering on the street corner used as the location, looking hopeful, that there are coach trips and costume hire for ladies wishing to play out the scene.......

Alas, Jamie, I have no taste for gin - I prefer Vermouth with soda, and I do hope that whatever happened to davedove in the lift - that is, elevator - has no real lasting effects.

Anne the Pleater

**Panache** · 13th November 08, 01:04 PM

Originally Posted by Pleater

...Alas, Jamie, I have no taste for gin - I prefer Vermouth with soda, and I do hope that whatever happened to davedove in the lift - that is, elevator - has no real lasting effects.

"One Vermouth and soda it it is and a Gibson for me. As for Mr. Dove, I should worry too much. He will be back, eventually..."

Cheers

Jamie

**davedove** · 13th November 08, 01:34 PM

davedove reenters the room looking a bit scorched. He pats out the small flame on his fly plaid and walks up to the bar.

"Just a screwdriver for me, thanks; I need the vitamin C."

Several young ladies surround him. All of them seemed very concerned about his health.

"Fear not ladies. It was indeed a close call; but I survived the ordeal. I'm sure with your tender care I will pull through okay. Now let me tell you about how I saved Jamie from that rubber chicken wielding madman from Canada."