My own "Said No!" story....

[Alan H]

You did the right thing. But next time you happen to meet Mister McNeil, wear your kilt and if he doesn't like it, tough noodles.

[slohairt]

Definitely get the Gordon! Daniel should get a McNeil kilt while he's at it!

[sirdaniel1975]

Definitely get the Gordon! Daniel should get a McNeil kilt while he's at it!

I do like that tartan!!... the MacNeil of Barra

Thanks everyone for all the wonderful insight. It's interesting to look back at something like this that happened over a year ago. One of the interesting comments I left out was, some of the family and friends who attended the wedding (who were unaware of Mr. McNeil's Hammer to the Williamson's) asked why My brother and I were not in kilt's.

To those whom are curious, I have not seen Mr. McNeil since the wedding.
My brother and his wife have attended the Central Fl Highland Games together. (before they were married)
My brother bought her a MacNeil sash!
My brother is a Middle School band director and has programed a Celtic music concert for his kids.
My brother also wants to take his school band to play at the Highland Games someday!

[sirdaniel1975]

You did the right thing. But next time you happen to meet Mister McNeil, wear your kilt and if he doesn't like it, tough noodles.

That has been my plan ever since the wedding.

[thescot]

I can't say whether it was the "right thing" or not. I'm not you, and everything depends on you, your situation, blah, blah, blah.

But I would have a heckuva time letting some guy I don't know dictate what I wear. Especially to the rehearsal dinner which he doesn't pay for!

Oh, well, it's your brother's father-in-law, not yours, so say a prayer of thanks. I suspect the old geezer makes your brother's life miserable if he doesn't buckle under, but that's not my life, so I hope he likes it.

As for Mr. McNeil, I hope you get about 40 kilted gentlemen to surrond him the next chance you get. Then someone should ask him why he's dressed like all the girls in pants.

[Spartan]

I am really amazed when I hear some of these stories. As a clergyman I've officiated at dozens of weddings. I know how family members and "friends" can be interfering -- and frankly out of place. One of the things that I try to reinforce with the bride and groom is that the marriage service belongs to them. It needs to be THEIR service. Typically, the groom's family takes care of the rehearsal dinner, and the bride's family the reception. The bride and groom are the one's that should plan the marriage service itself the way they want it and the others butt out. Let the bride's parents plan the reception, and the groom's parents the rehearsal dinner. I wish it could all be that simple.

What is more amazing to me are parents who dictate to their grown children. It's a control issue. Sometimes you have to stop and ask, "Whose problem is this?" In this case it is really the father's problem. I think that you did the right thing. In the future if Mr McNeill doesn't like seeing you in your kilt, that's his problem.

[BroosterB1]

What is more amazing to me are parents who dictate to their grown children. It's a control issue. Sometimes you have to stop and ask, "Whose problem is this?" In this case it is really the father's problem. I think that you did the right thing. In the future if Mr McNeill doesn't like seeing you in your kilt, that his problem.

Amen

[auld argonian]

I have to think how fortunate my wife and I were in light of these problems.

We were in our middle thirties when we got married and figured that at that age our parents had no responsibilities (or input) concerning our wedding.

We bore the full expense of the whole shebang. We even did our own flowers. We hired a lovely young lady to play piano at the reception and asked her to stick to light classical, Gerswin, Cole Porter, etc. I subsequently had to point out one of my more "lively" old Polish uncles and told her, "That man will most probably come over here and offer you ten dollars to play a polka...should that happen, I'll give you twenty not to." We had the ceremony at a beautiful Episcopal Church on the Near North Side and had the reception on the eighth floor of Orchestra Hall overlooking Grant Park and the Lake Front. My wife got a very slinky white full length dress from Neiman Marcus and I got a dark, double breasted Valentino suit. The wedding cake was a multi-layer cheese cake and we cut it together but did not, repeat NOT, feed each other pieces of the cake. When the assembled multitudes started tapping their silverware against the wine glasses, we kissed once and then I stood up and said in a very good natured way, "If you do that again, the waiters will be taking away your silverware and bringing you plastic forks." The maitre d', a remarkable ex-Pullman Porter with an air of authority that any Marine Corp Master Sargeant would admire, then added, "...and we will do it."

All the folks had to do was show up.

Worth every penny we spent. In one day we made it very clear that we had "cut the cords" and still provided the family with an event that fulfilled their concept of a legitimate wedding while giving them an affair that was, in many ways, out of their typical experience.

If you can do it that way, do it. While my wife and I were dating, several of my relatives expressed the concern that we might "cheat them out of a wedding" by just going off and getting married...they got their wedding but they got it on our terms.

Best

AA

[Spartan]

I have to think how fortunate my wife and I were in light of these problems.

We were in our middle thirties when we got married and figured that at that age our parents had no responsibilities (or input) concerning our wedding.

We bore the full expense of the whole shebang. We even did our own flowers. We hired a lovely young lady to play piano at the reception and asked her to stick to light classical, Gerswin, Cole Porter, etc. I subsequently had to point out one of my more "lively" old Polish uncles and told her, "That man will most probably come over here and offer you ten dollars to play a polka...should that happen, I'll give you twenty not to." We had the ceremony at a beautiful Episcopal Church on the Near North Side and had the reception on the eighth floor of Orchestra Hall overlooking Grant Park and the Lake Front. My wife got a very slinky white full length dress from Neiman Marcus and I got a dark, double breasted Valentino suit. The wedding cake was a multi-layer cheese cake and we cut it together but did not, repeat NOT, feed each other pieces of the cake. When the assembled multitudes started tapping their silverware against the wine glasses, we kissed once and then I stood up and said in a very good natured way, "If you do that again, the waiters will be taking away your silverware and bringing you plastic forks." The maitre d', a remarkable ex-Pullman Porter with an air of authority that any Marine Corp Master Sargeant would admire, then added, "...and we will do it."

All the folks had to do was show up.

Worth every penny we spent. In one day we made it very clear that we had "cut the cords" and still provided the family with an event that fulfilled their concept of a legitimate wedding while giving them an affair that was, in many ways, out of their typical experience.

If you can do it that way, do it. While my wife and I were dating, several of my relatives expressed the concern that we might "cheat them out of a wedding" by just going off and getting married...they got their wedding but they got it on our terms.

Best

AA

BRAVO!

[Highlander31]

Wearing a kilt is always interesting if nothing else.

Is it possible Mr. McNeil is Irish? I know my father who was of Irish decent felt kilts were only a "Scottish thing," and did not approve of them (although he did soften his view when he was in his eighties.) My mother being a MacGregor of course did.