With a bit of practice, you can get it tied to look pretty good. Then put a couple of stitches through the knot and forget it for the rest of your life.

If you purchased a really good balmoral, chances are the ribbons were sewn together for the first couple of inches below the grosgrain sweat band. Pick those out first. Then, tie a simple knot before making the bow. You time the bow just like a bow tie and make the loops and knot work out to a nice neat little package about 2 1/2" or so in total length. Then you'll have to trim the excess ribbon, cutting the ends at an angle.

A balmoral really should have the robbons tied at the back, but if you just don't want to, the kilt police probably won't cite you. At least, not with anything greater than a warning ticket. :P

BTW, welcome aboard from the frozen southland of Georgia.