So now I'm a Peacock!

[thescot]

I think there really is a bit of the peacock in all of us. And that's OK. At least my ex-wife ws OK with it and enjoyed guys in kilts.

But now, . . . well, that another story for another day.

I really doubt you'll ever get out of this one. People just don't change that type of thinking very often. So, I'd say you need to figure out a relatively happy medium with your wife. Of course she's prettier of course she turns heads, of course she really does get the attention. But in her mind, it's not so. And her perception of reality is her reality.

So doll her up, take her out, and try to figure out how to wear your kilt without making a big fuss. It's really not a big deal to any of us, but it apparently is to her. Better figure out how to deal with it now.

God love 'em. Can't live with 'em, and can't kill 'em.

[thescot]

BroosterB1,

My wife has had a similar reaction to my kilts. In my case, this has been going on for a year and a half. It's not going away, but I have been respectful of her feelings and do my best not to embarrass her with some folks.

Recently, while I was away for an extended period, she sought counseling and they determined that her "ick" feelings and so forth were related to her own self-esteem. She is now doing things to enhance her own self-esteem and has given my an all clear on kilts.

Something to think about -----

Congratulations, John. Not only has your problem gotten better, but you are obviously married to a terrific woman who is trying to fix the problem instead of fixing the blame! We are envious of you. Revel in your good choices of mate. Take her to diner. Buy her diamonds. Wine and dine her and tell her that you are so happy that you got her!

But the trouble is that before you can "fix" the problem, one has to admit that there is a problem--the First Step. And most won't take that step.

[pastorsteve]

You COULD do a lot of things but............... remember that your marriage is far more important than a fashion statement or clothing preference or fad or whatever kilting is for you.

Respect her wishes and desires. I would (couselor's hat) sit down and genuinely inquire when and where she would/will be okay with you kilting. Show her the respect of "listening" to, not just hearing, her concerns and you will get farther than if she feels you are ignoring or dismissing her issues with this.

I am a retired cop who still rides motorcycles with the guys. I would never wear leathers while walking around with my wife but I do when I'm on the road for the day or on a road trip. So I have times and places where attire which she might find objectionable is perfectly acceptable and makes sense to her.

Remember "Happy Wife, Happy Life". If you're like most men, you spend more than half your time away from your wife. Maybe that's the time to be kilted until she sees it as more than a passing fancy or fad. Additionally, and I'm not looking for a response here, sometimes it is more about the money or disposable income being spent on a hobby rather than the hobby itself. Make sure it's not a money - or other - issue. Maybe she had a brother or girfriend's husband who "came out of the closet" one day and spun their world around. It could be many, many things some of which can be worked out - others are best left alone.

I've seen lesser issues break up marriages - don't be one of those. For what it's worth of course.ith:

[Phogfan86]

"...a fourth (unspoken) reason may be that when wearing a kilt, you attract other women."

No more calls, please. We have a winner.

Brooster, I did see you're post about your wife talking with a therapist. Sounds like she's gotten to the root of the problem. But I had to point this fourth reason out. My wife has also been "tolerant" -- good word for it -- and is now discovering the attention I get from other women when we're out. I'm not so sure she's okay with it, but she hasn't said a word. Yet.

And trust me: I'm nothing to write home about. I'm a little chubby guy, but when I've got m'kilt, I carry myself differently, and I think that kind of confidence gets noticed.

[bricelythgoe]

I am in a similar position. My wife, although not as vocal with her objections, probably thinks the same way. As long as I don't wear it to the in-laws she seems to be fine! I figure the more I wear, the more she will get used it. Once she gets used to it, she will start to like it. Once she starts to like it, she will want to see more of it. I wonder if that will ever happen... (sorry thinking out loud here)

Brice

[Bugbear]

And don't forget, if you're going to be a peacock, the feathers go in the back.

[tulloch]

Carry yourself with dignity at all times. You can be casual, practical or formal in a kilt. Pay attention to her no matter how you are dressed. I would suggest you not try to outshine her but maybe dress to complement how she looks. Anyone can get the attention by how they present themselves. Be yourself, pay attention to her and let others focus where they see the guy in the kilt looking; at her. It sounds like it got to be more than a vestuary issue. Make sure she has no doubt about the fact that she is the center of your attention.

[tulloch]

Second thought: you were posting this at 2 in the morning. Weren't you supposed to be snuggling kiltless at that hour?

[BroosterB1]

"...a fourth (unspoken) reason may be that when wearing a kilt, you attract other women."

No more calls, please. We have a winner.

Brooster, I did see you're post about your wife talking with a therapist. Sounds like she's gotten to the root of the problem. But I had to point this fourth reason out. My wife has also been "tolerant" -- good word for it -- and is now discovering the attention I get from other women when we're out. I'm not so sure she's okay with it, but she hasn't said a word. Yet.

And trust me: I'm nothing to write home about. I'm a little chubby guy, but when I've got m'kilt, I carry myself differently, and I think that kind of confidence gets noticed.

Aye, I have noticed that as well. Since I changed businesses about four years ago I have been cultivating more relationships with people closer to our age bracket business wise, and socially, and at church. She has never been one to do much socializing, since kilting up, the attention I attract from members of the opposite sex probably has a lot to do with her "dissatisfaction".

And yes she has been fighting her daemons as well, she's much better than she was a few weeks ago, but she's not back to her normal self, so I take almost every thing with a large grain of salt. We've been through this four times now, the first three wearing pants, so it's not the clothes. I am a firm believer in what does not kill you makes you stronger. We can and will weather this storm as well.

[Larry124]

How elaborate is your total outfit?
On the other hand never mind.
Even with polo shirt and scrunched-down hose to my eyes a tartan kilt looks dressier and classier than most casual male clothing these days.
Maybe it’s the tucked shirt.
Or that even OTR kilts commonly look and fit much better than for instance raggedy droopy cargo shorts or worn bluejeans or chinos.