I've got pages and pages of quotes that I think are pretty great, but I would have to say my all time favorite is the second one in my sig.

"Don't ever get yourself caught cross-ways in a ditch with them there elephant people."

Said by my paternal grandfather. These were in fact his last words. Whenever I tell people about this quote, there is invariably several seconds of confusion until the individual asks "what does it mean?" The standard family response: "No idea. Grampa didn't stick around long enough to explain."

We all suspect he's looking down on us with a grin on his face thinking to himself: "HA! Figure THAT one out!"