When is a dirk appropriate?

[MacMillan of Rathdown]

That's the same reason I have a corkscrew on my pocket knife. One never knows when he will have to deal with a rogue chardonnay.

Which is why no proper kilted gentleman should set foot in the field or park without his Gaelic Themes "Officers" sgian dubh, combining as it does many of the useful tools associated with the venerable Swiss Army Knife with the indispensably traditional sgian dubh.