A Rhyme-Off; Trad v. Contemp.

[MacLowlife]

With a kilt like this
I'm sure glad to be in town
People love to eye the pleats
And see the way it wraps around

With a kilt like this
You're bound to be amused
Tartan always gets respect
That other stuff just gets abused

Let the others go- they can't hang with us no more
If they don't know how to wear their socks, let 'em walk on out the door
They could stand to learn a lot and then we'd reminisce
Bout the fun we've had, wearing kilts like this.

( closed course, professional typist- don't try this at home)

[CDNSushi]

Since we already have a few who contributed some quality haiku, I thought I would make my own contribution. This is not a haiku. It's a style of waka (Japanese poem) called: chouka. The meter is several couplets of 5-7 finishing with 5-7-7. In this case, I wrote it 5-7; 5-7; 5-7; 5-7-7 in the style of a Nara-period poet.

Added difficulty: I wrote the original in Japanese. The transliteration is below, and underneath that is a figurative (not strict) English translation of the rough feeling of the poem.

I really love Japanese poetry (in Japanese) because it really does rhyme in a sense. The strict meter of the language itself makes it very lyrical when spoken poetically.

Here is the original. Because not everyone has Asian fonts on their PCs, I chose to provide a picture of the poem instead.



koushijima
joshiseito miru
azayakana
josei no fuku da
wakaru kimi
dare wo chakuyou
hidanshi no
kiruto chakuyou
sukottorando


Tartan,
The bailiwick of schoolgirls.
Vivid colors,
Are oft’ worn by women.
Who then wears,
These handsome kilts?
Scotland.

P.S. I don't know whether my Japanese is exactly pristine and error-free, but it's my best attempt at an authentic poem... ;-)

[KFCarter]

Since we already have a few who contributed some quality haiku, I thought I would make my own contribution. ...


...


Tartan,
The bailiwick of schoolgirls.
Vivid colors,
Are oft’ worn by women.
Who then wears,
These handsome kilts?
Scotland.

P.S. I don't know whether my Japanese is exactly pristine and error-free, but it's my best attempt at an authentic poem... ;-)

Error free or not... awesome!

[MacRobert's Reply]

I have posted this already, probably on the wrong thread.

I’ve ge’en the kilt ma best shot

Now dinna say I haven’a tried:
The set is ca’d ‘Dress Generic’;
The kilt’s synthetic polymide;
The weans say it looks pathetic!

Ma jacket’s hem is far too lang;
Ma hose are much too tall … and white!
Ma garter tabs are all made wrang;
The hale ensemble causes fright!

Ma sporran’s made in Pakistan;
The cantle mak’s ma apron green;
Yon chiel wa sold it spun a yarn;
An’ tartan brogues should no’ be seen!

On ma heid’s an auld blue bunnet,
Wi’ a feather frae a seagull;
It has a red tourie on it –
Frae the neck up … I’m looking regal!

But am I anxious? No, no’ me!
Ye can a’ just haud yer whisht.
To wear the kilt is to be free!
Ye’r criticisms, I’ve dismissed.

If ye cann’a thole the answer,
Dinna ask for views o’ ithers,
For, see me, I’m just a chancer,
But still ane o’ yer kilted brithers.

IMHO. With apologies to speakers of English English, North American English and (especially) the Doric.

[Geoff Withnell]

Okay if we are going to go to interesting verse forms, here is my poor offering of a sestina, a Middle Ages form that requires six verses of six lines, ending in the same six words, with the order changing by a set pattern, and then a last two lines using all six words.

The discussion goes between the traditional
And those who follow the more contemporary
Though both have pleats
Some have not the tartan
And both have the left over right aprons
We all love our kilts

Aye, we all love and wear the kilts
And the not just our friends the traditional.
We all wrap our aprons left over right,
Be the traditional wider than the contemporary.
We do not all wear tartan,
But we all have in back the pleats.

Knife, box, kinguissie and reverse kinguissie pleats
Swish and swing for both sorts of kilts.
But pleat to sett or stripe only matters for a tartan.
Sporrans keep down the front of traditional;
Snaps work for many contemporary;
For both modesty is protected by aprons

My lower garment has aprons,
And pleats in the back.
Sometimes it is a contemporary
But still it is a kilt.
And sometimes it is a traditional
I have several of different tartan.

Leatherneck is my favorite tartan,
Often with a Vietnam Service Medal kilt pin on the aprons.
The best is a Tewksbury traditional
With nice military box pleats.
My dress up and formal kilt,
When I am not being contemporary.

When my mood is contemporary
But I still want the color of tartan
Then it’s a casual USA Kilt.
Much like the trads in aprons
And also in the pleats,
But the Velcro is not very traditional.

Traditional and contemporary, of various pleats and fabric;
Tartan or not, narrow or wide aprons, all have the power of the kilt!

Geoff Withnell

[KFCarter]

Okay if we are going to go to interesting verse forms, here is my poor offering of a sestina, a Middle Ages form that requires six verses of six lines, ending in the same six words, with the order changing by a set pattern, and then a last two lines using all six words.

The discussion goes between the traditional
And those who follow the more contemporary
Though both have pleats
Some have not the tartan
And both have the left over right aprons
We all love our kilts

...

Traditional and contemporary, of various pleats and fabric;
Tartan or not, narrow or wide aprons, all have the power of the kilt!

Geoff Withnell

Sestina!! Spectacular!!