Wife jealous of the Kilt

[Cherub]

I guess I'm a lucky one. My wife says i look great in the kilt, I only have one i can wear right now and it's UK. Eventually I'll get one or more in tartan (once i manage to get a job).

We have our share of mis-communications but the fact is that we communicate.

Talk to your wife and find out what is the problem.

and as for double secret probation Bah i spit on that.....

I would never let my wife try to do that to me. but then she would not as she is a better person than that.

I hope you can work out your problems, but sit down and talk about it like two adults.

[Dukeof Kircaldy]

I would suggest that she adopt feminine highland dress and you would be perfect couple. Then she could share the attention.

Any of the vendors can help in outfitting her.

[flyingshamrock]

My wife embraces my heritage and has accepts the fact that my family and I wear kilts. Her only issue is when someone looks at me like i'm some kind of oddity when we're out. It really bothers her when people laugh and make comments. She has been extremely close to throw down. So on occasion she has asked me to leave the kilt in the closet and wear a pair of jeans

[Inchessi]

Wow! I really thought you were kidding about the negative opinion of the wives. Most of the time my fiance looks forward to my kiltage. I have no idea if "Kiltage" is a word, but it sounds cool to me. The Saint did inform me that I could not wear my leatherneck to the funeral of a fellow Marine. It took me a couple of days to agree with her, then again, I always do.

By the way:
The pedestrian has the right away when crossing the street.
The man has the final say in the house.
Trying to enforce either will get you hurt.

[Fit2BKilted]

Why does everyone assume that she's jealous?

Just imagine, she's deep in conversation with a doctor having a serious conversation and in walks her husband and the doctor immediately ceases conversing with her just to comment on the fact that he was at some tattoo a world away. How rude! Geez, you're only wearing a kilt for heaven's sake, not running around nekkid so, what's the big deal, she's probably saying to herself. So, she's a little annoyed, not the same as jealous. And when you say that she's just jealous, you're belittling the issue and not respecting her, especially when someone suggests just throwing jewelry at the issue or buying fancy clothing. It's a futile gesture, like patting her on the head and saying 'there, there'.

I'm not married to her, but this would be my take on it.

This seems a much more reasonable assessment than those offered so far (aside from the plumage parallel---as plumage is designed to attract attention---but the reaction to it in this case is more likely to be in line with DixieCat's analysis IMHO).

[Fit2BKilted]

My wife gets annoyed if I don't wear my kilt sometimes!

My wife similarly appreciates the potential status-boost my 'looking sharp' proffers in unfamiliar company (or the company of former detractors) since "'living well' is truly the best revenge."

[RockyR]

I am lucky in the 'kilt aspect' as my fiance (and business partner) tolerates me wearing one daily, though she does like when I wear pants so she "can see my butt"... sorry for that visual, guys.

We DO NOT agree on everything however. She hates sports for the most part. She won't ever come to see me play a street hockey game. At first, I was a little hurt by it, but have gotten over it. I now realize that it doesn't interest her and that I will just go to the game, play, talk about it after and come home. I won't ever have to go to a dance class or to an art exhibit if I don't want to.

That being said, she (at first) didn't want me to play b/c it would take away from our Sundays, our only day off, when I would play from 10:30 AM to about noon. Part of my rationale was that I'm trying to be more active and healthy... you want me to be in shape, don't you? That seemed to help. I also told her that I don't tell her how to spend her time and so long as I'm not doing anything 'bad' and still spending other time with her, this should be my decision. After a few fights and having to stand up for myself, I stood firm and play twice a week. I am happy and she tolerates it.

Every relationship has things that need to be 'compromised' on. On diametrically opposed issues, someone wins and somone loses. If the same person loses all the time, it's not a relationship, it's a dictatorship and it's not healthy.

I may be a bit 'glutton for punishment', but I have told her from the beginning of our relationship that if she doesn't want my opinion, don't ask it. She now knows that I'm gonig to tell her the truth in any situation when I'm asked. I've also explained, the best way I can without sounding like a child that, "she's not the boss of me". When she comments that she doesn't like an outfit (hates my pinstripe kilt suit), I explain that I understand she doesn't like it, but I do and I wear it anyway, when appropriate. I don't wear it as often b/c I know she doesn't like it, but when I do, it's my choice.

In a heated discussion (about the pin striped kilt suit... AKA "Your Scottish Pimp Outfit"), I explained to her that I REALLY don't like some of the things she wears, but I never say anything to her unless she asks and I would never 'command' her to change as she's an adult and can choose her own clothes. My opinion, when asked, is only secondary to her feelings on her own outfits. The reverse is true for ME as well. She's gotten the point that I am a grown up and can make my own decisions what to wear, just as she can.

[Sammac]

The only part of kilt wearing my wife does not like is the attention it gets from younger ladies sometimes. I've not had anything untoward happen, but it still bothers her a little.

[dfmacliam]

I guess I am lucky, that both my family, and my girlfriend, have no issues about my kilt wearing.
My girlfriend is originally from Mexico and she understands my desire to show my cultural pride.
I am originally English by birth, and my family, on my mothers side is Irish. While the kilt wearing of Irish, is recent, and not as common in Ireland, My family approve of my wearing my kilts to show my Irish heritage. My mothers experiences with kilts, as a child growing up, always dealt with finely dressed Scotsmen.. so her preception of kilts have no connetations of crossdressing or subversive activities.
My fathers side of my family, is Native American, and again, a culture that understands celebrating ones culture.
I guess that sometimes, when someone does not understand what the kilt represents, they confuse the meaning. They relate it to what they can understand.
My only suggestion is communications... you should not loose your kilts or your wife...LOL.. it would be nice if they could live in perfect harmony, but if not, make allowances for each..

[Fit2BKilted]

A support group only works when the members choose to join because they acknowledge that they have a problem.

My wife doesn't have a problem; go ahead and ask her and she'll tell you that I have the problem. And if I keep trying to wear that ridiculous thing out in public causing a spectacle and frightening children then it'll become an even bigger problem. For me.

It seems to me that this sort of intolerance begs the question of how committed to the relationship the objector is... Presumably, there are underlying self-esteem issues at work if the mode of dress of one's SO remains a tangible threat to the 'established' relationship. I know that there were in the case of my father and his second wife... In that case, it was an issue of 'control'... My father was not a kilt wearer, but from my perspective the dynamics were identical: She had an pathological imperative to 'rule-the-roost' and had no hesitation about using emotional-blackmail to manipulate the family and command authority. This is an situation where the offender needs to recognize they have a problem and seek to deal with it rationally otherwise there will be fewer alternatives to a break-down.