My apologies to the non drinking kiltwearers and those who like their alcohol distilled. But my point is that good kilts and better kilts can be sorted, much as the sheep and the goats can, by comparison. Several people have referred to suits and trousers by analogy. We all know several derogatory phrases that include the words "cheap suit". Has that derision stopped people from making and wearing cheap suits? Not hardly. And some of the poor folk who wear cheap suits do not recognize how cheap they are until they stand next to a gent in a nicely made suit.

The kilt is pretty much the same way. If I don a two yard Acrylic MacTourist special, it may stir the memory of bagpipes in my heart and make me spout fragments of Burns. But once I stand next to a gent who is wearing a tank or a handmade box pleated wonder, I may feel more like Scrooge McDuck. And, should I be so misguided as to wear that MacTourist abomination into an establishment where better kilts are sold and then slip it off to try on something better, I might well leave the original on the dressing room floor, hoping nobody will associate it with me.

I know there is a rule regarding discussion of firearms, so I shall be careful. They say the best way to evaluate the condition of a P_______ shotgun is to look at it next to another one, because on its own, any one looks great. Only by comparison do the subtler differences become clear.

I once owned one of those functioning artworks made in Meriden Connecticut, but I would no more take it into a muddy field than I would throw it into the swamp. Lesser tools get toted into hostile environments, at least by lesser mortals such as yours, truly.

I do hear that Younger's is working on a detergent ale that will not only not stain your kilt, but will actually help you get it clean should some of it get spilled on you. Does anybody know how that project is going?