So I wore a kilt to my wife's Christmas party

[CDNSushi]

I'm usually not very good with quick comebacks and pithy remarks when on the spot (hindsight is 20/20) but I probably would have just pointed out the absurdity of his behavior by being equally absurd...

"Look, everybody. This guy ISN'T wearing a dress!" "YOU'RE not wearing a dress!" "You catch my drift yet, buddy? What the hell's your point? No one really gives a rat's $#%@ what you think, do they? Everyone in the room has seen what I'm wearing and the only one who seems to think my KILT is a big deal is you."

And if I were in a surly mood like I'm in this morning, I may have simply just said: "Is your mom proud of you that you turned out this way? Act your age and not your shoe size. Grow up!"

(Yeah, I can hit pretty low sometimes.)

As a side note, I guess I'm glad that here in Japan, spouses and guests are NEVER invited to company parties -- they are always for employees only. The Japanese, even on a regular, daily basis tend to be very secretive and closed about their families and personal lives. They will never discuss their spouses or children in public (unless they are already friends with you on a personal or deeper level), and they will never bring their spouses or children to "work" events.