Wife does not like me in a kilt

**The Thirsty Viking** · 29th March 11, 06:17 PM

Originally Posted by Nighthawk

Wow! She says that kind of outfit makes you look like a dork?!?! Last I checked, formal wear made one look dignified... Color me confused!

IF that is what a Dork looks like, I would be proud to be a Dork.

**Downunder Kilt** · 29th March 11, 06:23 PM

There is a reason why Horace Rumpole refered to his wife as "she that must be obeyed" and you better believe it

**fluter** · 29th March 11, 06:30 PM

If I recall correctly, she's only had a few weeks to get used to the kilt. Don't despair just yet!

Optionally, you can try out the "cross-dressing" crack next time she dons a pair of slacks. On reflection, I'd save that one; but the idea is to let her see how it felt when she hit you with it.

It'd undoubtedly be more adult simply to tell her how it felt. The conventional wisdom is to use "I" statements & make it about how you felt, not about what she did or how she wronged you. If that makes any sense at all.

Mostly, give it time. Let her see some other men in kilts, particularly the heavy athletes!

**CDNSushi** · 29th March 11, 06:45 PM

Seeing the photos, I really can't see why anyone would say you looked like a dork. The kilts may hang a little long, but clearly you're already keenly aware of that fact -- after alterations, I'm sure both outfits look amazing... But anyway, I think I may have an idea as to what's going on with the criticism from the wife.

My own wife (even though she fully supports my choice of kilted attire) knows that I can be a very stubborn and determined man, and if I get an idea into my head it can be very difficult to dislodge it... I suspect that one major objection that some women may have with their men wearing kilts, is the fear that it will become the ONLY attire they will ever wear henceforth. This may even be a reasonable fear because I also own T-shirts and underwear that are literally 20 years old that I will refuse to throw out...

Anyway, my point is this. Perhaps it would go a long ways if you were to assure your wife that your new-found interest and hobby in no way changes who you are, and that it doesn't mean that you'll all of a sudden start wearing your kilt 24/7, swilling scotch and learning the bagpipes (even if you DO want to do all those things)... See if you can make some kind of compromise with your wife regarding when/where/how often she can expect you to wear your kilt... Once that has been established, I suspect that things may proceed a little smoother. Also, once she gets used to the idea, if you need to change the original compromise, it will likely be much easier to do at that point.

**triumph** · 29th March 11, 07:09 PM

CDNSushi; I do have a set of bagpipes, very much an amateur. I have also done my family genealogy from Scotland. This Kilting is something I guess will just take time and I hope she will come around. As to going someplace local where kilts are worn, there just is not any place close within a 100 miles. Thank you all for your words of wisdom

**The Wizard of BC** · 29th March 11, 07:20 PM

f150k,

You have received quite a few responses. Some tongue in cheek, some sincere and some bordering on rude and intrusive.

But I was talking to my wife about this. She is a very smart women. Her comment to me was that from a woman's standpoint it may not be that she does not like you in a kilt.
It may be that she is feeling protective and does not want others to think bad of you. She may be afraid of what others may say or think so gives you the impression that it is her disapproving.

As some others have said. If it is possible, find a place where there are others in kilts. Once she sees that you are not the only one she may relax the "protect him from harm" attitude.

But in the end this really is something you need to talk to her about. I'm afraid that an on-line forum will just make matters worse. Forums don't make good "Dear Abby's" as you can see from some of the replies.

**Cowher** · 29th March 11, 08:12 PM

Originally Posted by fluter

The conventional wisdom is to use "I" statements & make it about how you felt, not about what she did or how she wronged you. If that makes any sense at all.

This is good wisdom for anything in marriage. It took me 7 years to learn how to speak in feelings rather than the tangible. Once I learned that marriage got a lot more easy.

**Bill aka Mole** · 29th March 11, 08:12 PM

I've only been wearing kilts for the last 8 months, and not full time. If you'd like to see what a dork looks like in a kilt, please ensure that those who may have a weak stomach do not look and that you remove all food and beverage from your computer area before you look here: Dork in kilt.

I'll be here all week, try the veal! Cheers!

**BroosterB1** · 29th March 11, 09:57 PM

Hummm....maybe a new thread "Dork in Kilt" Pics I'm sure a have a few that qualify.

as to the OP, maybe your wife is just boring? Boring folk do not suffer us dorks well. Embrace the inner dork... least you are not wearing a pocket protector or your Ed Hardy jeans around your knees....

**biblemonkey** · 30th March 11, 05:51 AM

Originally Posted by Cowher

that will get you killed

Communication is key. If you told your wife that you liked kilts and wanted to wear them without reason and you don't appreciate her wise **** remarks. She may ease up. She doesn't need to love what you wear but women are pretty good at being compassionate. And like was said above she will see the other women paying you attention and that may get her more hot on kilts.

I agree. I got off easy in this respect as my wife understands my obsession and though doesn't particularly care for the kilt, doesn't care what I wear in most cases. She has also grudgingly admitted that I look good in it. Maybe try dressing it up a tad in a semi-casual way like I did in my Christmas pics. It got alot of people on my side who were on the fence about it.

Good luck,
Hugh