Panache and the Great Hunt for the Acryli-Beast

[LadyGriffin]

I thought that those wonderful MAROON kilts all members were supplied with doubled as parachutes. Could you not use those to swoop down in mass and perform a magnificent rescue?

[Weasel Mender]

It is in the 2nd trunk under the taxidermy supplies, actualy there are 3 of them plus a couple of base jumping chutes just in case

Ens Mender

[Panache]

Panache and the Great Hunt for the Acryli-Beast

A Victorian Tale of Horror told in Chapters

Chapter 20


At the voice the creature paused. We could see that it was a dog of some kind. Obviously a mixed breed most notable for its almost comically dimwitted expression and huge size. The later attribute was most apparent to McMurdo as the animal was standing on his chest pinning him to the icy ground. Again came the call “Wompet! Wompet!” A small man wearing thick fur clothes had emerged from an igloo. The dog looked at the approaching figure and hung its head. The man shouted something in a strange tongue and it stepped off our squashed translator. McMurdo stood up quickly and brushed the ice and snow off his maroon kilt and walked toward him. He greeted the man in the same language and the two began to converse. The dog slunk away to stand behind Jake and begin a thorough investigative sniffing of his leg.

McMurdo returned to us and said “I have explained who we are and that we have been sent here to see the Chief Agulicuactx McTundra by the Wizard of BC.” The fur clad man mumbled something else and pointed at our reporter. McMurdo nodded and added, “Jake, he says he is sorry about that and hopes that your shoes are waterproof. That’s just his dog Wompet’s way of saying hello. Though he is loyal, apparently he isn’t very well trained.” Jake looked down and regarded his leg and the results of Wompet’s greeting with both surprise and disgust. “Good boy Wompet”, I murmured to the shaggy canine.

“Will he take us to the Chief?” I asked McMurdo.

“Yes”

The man spoke to McMurdo and gestured for us to follow him.

We walked through the Inuit village and save for a few curious sets of eyes from the entrances of igloos we saw no other people. Wompet ran about our small party and we took special care to not give him any more opportunities to “greet” us. The man led us to a particular igloo in the middle of the village. The small dwelling made of ice blocks was indistinguishable from any of the others in both size and construction. Kneeling at its low entrance our guide barked out something and a tiny shriveled old woman emerged. She too was clad entirely in garments made of fur. The two spoke briefly. Our guide nodded and walked off with his huge dog following him. The old woman gestured for us to enter the snow house.

We crawled through the low entrance into the one room dwelling. The old woman replaced a fur hanging over the entrance once we were all through. The interior of the igloo was surprisingly warm and comfortable, due to the excellent insulating properties of snow. To one side of the interior was an elevated platform made of compacted snow where stood a simple wooden framed bed made of piles of furs very near the ceiling . The igloo was both lighted and heated by a traditional kulliq, or stone lamp in the center of the snow house. Sitting motionless next to this lamp was a frail figure swathed in furs. The woman spoke softly to it. The form stirred and in a rough low whisper answered her. She motioned us forward.

He was a wizened tiny man, his face like a dried apple. He regarded us for several minutes and then spoke to us in the Inuit language at length which McMurdo then translated for us.

“Are you another one of those damned documentary film makers from the BBC? Haven’t taken enough pictures of the seals and polar bears yet? Curse you and your David Attenborough! Leave us alone!”

I drew out our letter of introduction from the Wizard of BC and offered it to the chief.

With an almost skeletal, trembling hand the ancient chief took the thick envelope. The old Inuit opened it and removed not a letter, but a slim piece of bone from within. He turned it over in his hands and carefully examined the delicate carvings which it bore. The images were of a pipe, a slide rule, a kilt, numerous coffee cups, and what appeared to be a mouth frowning.

“Stevie” he said.

I asked McMurdo to translate for me.

“ Chief Agulicuactx McTundra. I am Captain Panache and I have traveled a very long way with these good companions. We have longer still to go as I hunt the Greater Acryli-Beast. Steve Ashton has told me of a mountain at the top of the world and I will travel there to hunt. He also said that I should come to you to seek your wisdom.”

The chief stared at me long and hard before speaking again.

McMurdo translated “I knew Stevie when he came here as a young man, that was many, many, many years ago. He possessed qualities of orneriness and bad temper that my people value. His dream was to become a kilt maker, a curmudgeon, and to drink more coffee than there was water in the sea. I look at your well made kilts and see that he has at least accomplished his first goal. Though may I say that the hat you are wearing does not fit with the your kilt!” Chief Agulicuactx McTundra pointed at me accusingly. Jake sniggered, and I sighed.

“It’s an authentic Zeppelin Captain’s hat.“ I explained.

“What is a zeppelin?”

“Never mind Sir, it’s not important. Will you tell us of the Acryli-Beast?“

The old man paused again for several minutes and thought carefully. When he started to speak his words bore a tone of dark foreboding, McMurdo tried his best to keep up a smooth and constant translation.

“This is a harsh land, a barren land. Our gods and spirits are not worshipped, they are feared. But of all the monsters Sedna rules in the depths of the sea there is not one more terrifying than the Acryli-Beast. Once in a generation there would be one warrior bold enough to hunt these monsters. They would travel many months to the mountain at the top of the world. When the stars were right they would climb the mountain and wave a fetish to draw the beast to them. The man would hunt the beast, and the beast would hunt the man. More often than not the man would never come back. We would not speak of his horrible fate but his screams can be heard in the wind that shrieks over the sea and ice

But if the man killed the beast he would stand at the top of the mountain and throw a handful of the creature’s brilliant white hair to the winds. The Sky spirits would take the shimmering gift and the lights in the night sky would grow bright . Again we would see our beloved ancestors dance and play in their radiance. When the hunter returned he would wear the shimmering prized pelt and we would honor him above all for his bravery and for bringing back the great lights.

It has been many generations since the Sky received this gift and the lights have dimmed. No longer are seen the spirits of those who have gone before and none among my people will take up the hunt.

Your eyes are bright and vision keen. I see you and your men wear garb of a deep maroon color that speaks well of your masculinity and hunting prowess. If you are serious in your intent and will swear to abide by our traditions in the hunt I will tell you the night you may find the Acryli-Beast at the mountain at the top of the world, the night when the Stars are right! I will give you the fetish that will summon the Acryli-Beast to you. The rest will being your own doing or undoing."

Mc Murdo finished his translation and the old man stared long and hard at me.

“I will do so Chief Agulicuactx McTundra. I will swear to follow the customs of your people when I hunt the beast. Explain to me what I must do.”

“First, you must honor and respect the spirit of the Acryli-Beast.

Second, you must climb the mountain and hunt the creature alone.

Last, if successful, you must throw a handful of the creature’s hair to the winds to bring back the fading Northern lights”

“This I will do, I so swear“ I promised looking him straight in the eye.

The Inuit Chief said something to the old woman. She brought me a small club of whale bone covered in gray seal skin with tassels made of iridescent white fur that could only be from an Acryli-Beast. He whispered the date we needed to McMurdo who nodded in assent. “We will need to travel fast but I think we can just barely make it there in time” McMurdo informed us.

“There is just one more thing I must know Chief” I said.

"Who do you want to play you in the Movie?" interrupted Jake.

This brought a questioning look from the Elder. I glared at our reporter to be quiet.

“What is this Acryli-Beast like? What manner of creature is it?” I asked.

“Only those who have faced one know. Remember this Panache and remember it well, as you hunt it, it hunts you. There is no more I can tell you, except that...I want Sean Connery to play me."

With this he dismissed us with a wave of his hand. His eyes closed and frail head came down to rest on his chest. Our small party left and returned to the planes, doing our best to avoid the attentions and poor bladder control of Wompet on the way back. The big dog barked and chased after the biplanes as we took to the sky. As we flew back to the Saltire I was most thoughtful.

We had what we had come for. The journey was almost at an end, it was time for the hunt to began!



To Be Continued...

[davedove]

I see you and your men wear garb of a deep maroon color that speaks well of your masculinity and hunting prowess.

You keep trying, don't you.

“There is just one more thing I must know Chief” I said.

"Who do you want to play you in the Movie?" interrupted Jake.

I think Mako would be a good choice.

[Coemgen]

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

[Wompet]

"isn't very well trained"??
My good sir, I was merely expressing our shared opinion of Mr. Jake's work in the only medium available to me. Had I opposable thumbs at the time, I would have written a scathing letter to his editor!

[ccga3359]

"isn't very well trained"??
My good sir, I was merely expressing our shared opinion of Mr. Jake's work in the only medium available to me. Had I opposable thumbs at the time, I would have written a scathing letter to his editor!

Actually Wompet does drink a lot of water, of which many a SOKS member can attest too. At many a SOKS function I have noticed that my boots get squishier at closing time.

[Coemgen]

[starbkjrus]

I have got to find a smiley that works for that last statement!

[McMurdo]

OK how about this one :butt: and this one and this one


Oh by the way