When I post here on XMTS

[SteveB]

Well said Jamie
First of all, I am a slow typer. That means my grandchildren get a great laugh as the old man "hunts and pecks" across the keyboard. I post with my real name, my real city, and my avatar is a real time picture of me as many see me in church, on the subway, trolley, bus or in the shopping mall, library, and local fishmonger, butcher, grocer, etc. After "lurking" on this board for quite some time, it became obvious that it would be a very sane place to be. Most of us post in good humour at all times. My post count is not as high as others, as I feel that I should respect others by posting only when I have something to contribute. I make every effort to keep my posts something that I would proudly display to my family and friends. ( My sister has been known to lurk here.) My spouse often reads whilst I am clicking away. Fortunately historical debates, have stayed very cordial. I place full blame on the Moderators for keeping it so.I am as proud to be a member of XMTS as I am proud to display my clan tartan when kilted. One of these days I will get an XMTS tartan kilt, to show my pride in this "clan". I have no fear of meeting someone on the street who has read my posts, as I am not hiding. I welcome the opportunity to meet my fellow X-Markers at some time. I am scouting around for a kilt friendly venue to call for som kilt nights here in Boston and see what happens.
Cheers, Steve Brown

[Yaish]

True, but lets not forget the flip side shall we?

A community is made of it's members. Make them "leave themselves at the door" too much and the members just stop going.

That's not a criticism, just a fact.

[Mike1]

A community is made of it's members. Make them "leave themselves at the door" too much and the members just stop going.

That's not a criticism, just a fact.

I wouldn't disagree with what you've stated. However, the actual fact is you failed to read the entire comment that Panache quoted. Allow me to repeat it, as it bears consideration -

Rex Tremende made a wise comment once about how the price we pay to be part of this great place is that we sometimes have to leave a part of ourselves at the door.

So you see, at no time did anyone say, or suggest that members must 'leave themselves at the door', as you suggested. Rather members should have the ability to leave a part of themselves at the door.

Suddenly, it all makes great sense, doesn't it?

[M. A. C. Newsome]

And that "part of ourselves" is only anything we might say that would offend our daughters, grandmothers, etc. And I say that is a part well left behind. We all do (or should do) this kind of self-censoring every day in polite society. And that's what we see for the most part here on XMTS, a polite society.

I had the displeasure of visiting a folk music forum the other day looking for some information on a particular song, and to read the vile and vitriol being spewed was like verbal heartburn. And it was a moderated forum!

A few years ago I worked out a mutual deal with Hank that involved us putting a permanant link to the XMTS forum from the museum's web page. If I am going to reccomend this forum to our museum patrons and visitors, then it absolutely has to be a family friendly forum. I don't want to see any content that I would be embarassed or ashamed to share with my daughter or my mother, for instance.

Three years later, I still have the link up there. That says something!

M

[Panache]

True, but lets not forget the flip side shall we?

A community is made of it's members. Make them "leave themselves at the door" too much and the members just stop going.

That's not a criticism, just a fact.

Yaish,

There have been some times when I really wanted to discuss something with another member here but the subject matter skirted our forum rules or I felt that it would open up a can of worms if posted on the open forum. So instead I have used the PM feature and as a result I have had some very interesting and informative interactions with some neat people.

Case in point: I was going to attend a Christening and needed advice about whether to wear a sgian dubh or not. If this question was posted on the forum I thought for sure it would lead to some argument about concealed weapons and weapon laws. So I asked this of another member who I know to be well versed in not only kilts but the Catholic church. He was happy to offer an answer.

So many times I look at something posted and think "that would should have been sent as a PM".

Much like a quiet aside at a family gathering, the PM feature allows us to talk about things that might not be right for a general discussion.

Just a thought.

Cheers

Jamie

[Luckey]

Jamie,
A wonderful post, thank you. As the duly elected and appointed President-for-Life of the local chapter of "Introverts Annonymous" (it's only me because, well, I'm an introvert) I don't post much. I do however check out XMtS at least once a day and sometimes more. I can't tell you all how much you have taught me not only about kilts and all things related, but about ALL things in general. The fine ladies and gentlemen of our community should lock arms, take one step towards the front of the stage and bow in unison. You deserve all the accolades you recieve.
Jim

[gilmore]

True, but lets not forget the flip side shall we?

A community is made of it's members. Make them "leave themselves at the door" too much and the members just stop going.

That's not a criticism, just a fact.

I agree. It is indeed a fact, as history as shown. And valuable, well informed ideas have been lost to us because of it.

I was discussing religion in the workplace with a member who has been in India for several months. There, workers often put up things that have to do with their religions in their work spaces, and no one seems to be bothered. He mentioned to a coworker that it wouldn't be done in the US, since it might give offense to some. The response was that offense can't be given if it is not taken.

I am clergy, but I would prefer to read interesting and informative posts that err toward the ill-spoken, rather than predictable and uninteresting posts that are pleasantly stated, if I had to choose. We cannot control the world, but we can control our own minds, and mine doesn't take offense easily.

[Panache]

... We cannot control the world, but we can control our own minds, and mine doesn't take offense easily.

gilmore,

Then that is to your credit. You are of course correct that some good content can be found in heated discussion and strongly worded opinions.

The flip side to this flip side is that you can lose even more good content by putting off people. I don't think we would have Matt's presence, or Hamish's, or many others here if we allowed a Free-for-all . For the content gained by such there is still content lost.

When the choice is made to be a family friendly place it is required that basic ground rules be established. These ground rules are going to leave some interesting content out. But it does leave a level playing field for everyone here to offer their information and experiences and feel safe and comfortable doing so.

I had mentioned previously, I have had the pleasure of having many very interesting exchanges regarding politics, religion, and other topics not allowed on the open forum via the PM system. So even within our forum rules there are ways for interested parties to have discussion beyond what is allowed on XMTS open forum.

Is this a compromise?

Absolutely! (I believe I noted this on another thread not too long ago)

But it is the best that can be done when you have a place that encourages the participation of entire families.


As it was Theodor Geisel's birthday at the start of this week it this seems an appropriate quote for this thread and XMTS:

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with great care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left


Cheers

Jamie

[Coemgen]

When posting on internet forums, as when speaking to another person (a rare occasion for me) or writing a letter, I try to think through what I am going to say. Unfortunately, I do not always succeed in culling inappropriate material from my typings, and for those instances, if offence is caused, I do beg pardon from you all.

I will say that this is one of the most civil and polite places I've had the fortune (and, in some cases, misfortune) of finding on the internet.

[James MacMillan]

When posting on internet forums, as when speaking to another person (a rare occasion for me) or writing a letter, I try to think through what I am going to say. Unfortunately, I do not always succeed in culling inappropriate material from my typings, and for those instances, if offence is caused, I do beg pardon from you all.

I will say that this is one of the most civil and polite places I've had the fortune (and, in some cases, misfortune) of finding on the internet.

Well said.

Allow me to repeat part of that in my own voice.

I do not always succeed in culling inappropriate material from my typings, and for those instances, if offence is caused, I do beg pardon from you all.