What do I say to my Dad?

[Nick the DSM]

if he doesn't want to then don't make him. just let yourself be the family historian.

[Ian.MacAllan]

Then there are health aspects to family history. Knowing that a particular condition has occured frequently in your family can encourage early detection and effective treatment.

I am at least the third generation of males in my family to have a particular vision difficulty; earlier records are not available. In my case it was identified only in my tenth year, too late to be treated effectively. Knowing this history, I had my son tested and treated when he was six, and within two years he had (and retains) normal vision.


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[johnnym]

Just today I had an e-mail from a cousin who indicated that he had never known our common grandparents. Both were gone by the time I was a youngster. I replied with a couple pictures of the grandfather and grandmother that I had not known either, but I did have pictures. I can trace the families of all 4 of my grandparents to the 1700's with one branch (my paternal great-grandmother) back to 1370 in England. My personal family tree database has over 1,200 names and is growing - my son has a new niece born last week.

My Dad seldom spoke about family relationships unless he was cornered. My interest did not develop until I was grown and had kids of my own. He is gone now, but I was able to get quite a bit from him before he passed on.

[gilmore]

Some people just aren't interested in family history, and it does take a lot of work researching it of the kind that many find boring and tedious; however, it may happen that as your enthusiasm for genealogy grows, your father's interest may be piqued, perhaps by some aspect of his ancestry that he can relate to or identify with. Or perhaps not. I wouldn't worry about it.

[siva011]

I know many people who don't understand about my interest in heritage, and when asked why I can't explain it, but I just feel it's important. Plus, the more people who become disinterested in their heritage, the more of that culture is lost. This isn't just Americans, but for anyone who isn't interested in looking into their past.

My wife's family is PA Dutch. They know EXACTLY where they came from, and still carry many of the German traditions. My father in law still makes sauerkraut by hand, and the local church sings their songs in German. It is amazing seeing the culture actually being lived out, and not in festivals but in normal life. I live close to Amish country, and it's great to see culture preserved. My family loves to say how Irish they are, yet know nothing about Irish culture or history, or their family history. And they don't seem to care.

While you can't force your father to participate, you could let him know this is important to you and ask if he can offer his support. I love the support I get from my wife's family with living my Irish and Scottish heritage, especially with kilts. Even though it isn't their culture, they fully understand the importance of knowing that about where you came from, and it's great to have that support.

[McFarkus]

I live and work in neighborhoods on Chicago's North side that are entry ports for many immigrants. In one local high school there are more than 40 distinct ethnicities and 60 languages spoken in the homes of the students. So it's not unusual to be asked, "What nationality are you."

For a long time I just answered, "American," though I knew my roots included Scots, Irish, English, French and German. I had relatives on both sides who had laid a foundation for a family tree; and so, in most cases, my own explorations began in the 18th century.

I found out some of the reasons for my lack of clarity about roots. My earliest ancestor arrived in Jamestown in 1607. My most recent immigrant ancestors arrived in the mid-18th century (Scots). So it's been more than 250 years since my family has had direct immigrant roots.

One of the things I discovered is the extent to which I'm a mutt. In addition to the "ethnic" roots listed above, I've found connections to most European countries, North African and beyond. Genealogy can be very enlightening.

[ForresterModern]

After the birth of my youngest son this past winter, I visited my folks to show him off, while at the same time discussing what little I knew of the history of my surname, Foster, and of its apparent Scottish origin as a part of the Forrester clan of the lowlands west of Edinburgh. To make a long story short my father brings out a tattered old leather briefcase full of pictures and various documents that he had either been given or inherited over the years from various family members. After digging through it all, I discovered an incomplete family tree that went back at least 7 generations of the Foster name, then completed the remaining lineage about 3 more genrations to the original William Forrester who came across on a boat sometime in the early 1700s and landed somewhere in Maryland (still more digging to do to go back further). I di this by reading a typed history of another portion of the family (a branch that ended up not being Fosters) made god only knows how long ago or by precisely whom, as it is not dated or signed or otherwise credited. That pile of stuff had been sitting in his basement, some of it from when I was a small child (I remember seeing him putting stuff into the briefcase several times in my youth) but no one had ever done any research beyond a couple generations before themselves. We discovered that we were a founding family of Virginia origianlly and that we had lost our heritable land due to a catastrophic series of climatic, political, financial, and ultimately shady coincidental events. After losiing our land several remaining members of the "clan" relocated to the western portions of Virginia (now West Virginia) and set up shop in a single hollow for the next several generations. At least in part becasue of my interest in tracing the family name, my father (who still lives in WV) has since gone back to the "hollow" where his ancestors lived and discovered an overgrown family cemetary, along with the gravestones of many ancient relatives, including his own great grandfather and great-great grandfather. He has promised to take me there the next time I am out that way so that I can passit on to future generations myself.

It looks like I may be able to get hold of a listing of ships manifests containing a number of Forrester/Fosters who came over in the 1600-1800 range and landed in the colonies, which may allow me to trace us back even into the "old country", where records are generally a little better than over here. We shall see.

My dad has become quite interested in all this now, including my scottish highlandwear fetish, although all I can get him to wear is a flat cap in the family tartan and a clan forrester t-shirt I picked up for him. He in his waning days is looking backward almost as longingly as I to learn more about from whence we came---at least our family surname.

[Dr Mac]

Jock Scot has a point... the memories of Scotland may have been painful, rather than fond. Trying to force the issue could very possibly make matters worse instead of better.

[kenpobob]

I was speaking with my dad tonight, and in the conversation I gave him a form to join our Clan Society, and the address to order a very good clan history. He proceeded to ask if I haven't gone over board on the "Scottish Stuff?" His reasoning was that the last "Real" McGilvray was his Great Grandfather. Now my McGilvrays have been in the USA since the late 1700s. How do I handle this?

If I recall correctly you also live here in Utah... We live near the center of the genealogical research world, the LDS family library and I don't think I would ever think that phrase would come up at the research library....Anyway, I doubt I could add anything to the more learned & mature rabble have not already said. All the best to you and your dad.

[Phogfan86]

Nanook said it far better than I was trying to. People left those countries -- or were encouraged to explore other options -- for a reason or two or 19. The groups like St. Andrew Societies and the little German Catholic and Lutheran parishes and, here in Kansas, the fraternal organizations formed in the Russian Mennonite communities and many of the other organizations were what those people wanted to remember of the old country. They weren't reflective of reality or they'd have never left.