My resounding response to all of that is "Amen brother!" - Then I got to the last line. THAT is my problem here. Been a LONG history of a total lack of respect for me, and EVERY interest I have, everything I undertake, every hobby I have, and anything I do that could possibly embarass her. And unfortunately for me, most of my interest and hobbies are "embarassing". D&D is a game for dorks and geeks who worship the devil, I have an easy job (for the most part) and if I tell anyone that she's mortified - because only lazy people have easy jobs. My interests in fantasy literature is embarassing because it's too D&D-like. About my only hobby thats not embarassing is my homebrewing - but I occassionally get the "you're an alcoholic" look when I have 2 beers in one day. (FYI: I average 3-4 a week).

This is all totally off topic, but I really appreiciate your post. It may not help me much, because as you say, there are bigger underlying issues, but for most other guys out there with wives who respect them but are just freaked out... thats some awesome advice. Gonna save that to a file on my computer and pass it along to anyone whom I meet who has a similar problem. Thanks much.