Kilt(ish) jokes

[longshadows]

(Time to smile)

An American was hopelessly lost in the Highlands and wandered about for nearly a week. Finally, on the seventh day he met a kilted inhabitant. "

Thank goodness I've met somebody," he cried. " I've been lost for a week."

" Is there a reward out for you ? " asked the Scotsman.

" No." said the American.

" Then you're still lost."

[ByDand]

Now that is a good one.

[Mattg]

I've got one for ya....
Jock once attended a Temperance lecture given by Scotland's top medical man, a noted anti-drink campaigner. The speaker began by placing a live, wriggling worm in a glass of whisky. After a moment or two it died and sank to the bottom.
The speaker said quietly to the audience, "Now my friends, what does this tell us?"
Jock piped up, "If you drink whisky you'll not be bothered by worms!"

[Southern Breeze]

Since the subject came up....

A Scotsman & a Englishman are strolling along the beach when they find a lamp. They clean it up and out pops a genie.

"I'll give you each one wish for freeing me" says the genie.

The Englishman thinks then wishes. "I believe in an England for the English, I'm sick and tired of all these Scots coming into MY country. I wish for a huge wall around England - to keep the English in and the Scots out."

POOF and it's done.

The Scotsman thinks. "Genie?" he says "tell me about this wall". "Well" says the genie "it's 500 feet high, a third of a mile thick, nothing can get in and nothing can get out".

"OK" says the Scotsman "Fill it with water".

[TimC]

Now THAT'S a good one!

[Mattg]

I must agree!