Would you kind and wonderful gents help me out a bit?

How would you respond to the various questions that you hear all the time if the questioner was a child? I've seen all the clever responses, but the vast majority of them aren't child-appropriate.

Is the answer different if it's a boy or girl?

(Let's define child as under 10 and not really aware of the vive-la-difference.)

Thanks for your help.

Kizmet