Immutable Laws

[Alaskan Kilted Guy]

US Army General Orders (As taught in Basic Training)

1. I will guard everything within the limits of my post and quit my post only when properly relieved.

2. I will obey my special orders and perform all of my duties in a military manner.

3. I will report violations of my special orders, emergencies, and anything not covered in my instructions to the commander of the relief.

And as ammended by a particular Platoon Sergeant I served with:

4. I will walk my post from flank to flank, and take no s*#t from any rank!

[haukehaien]

Vizzini's Law:
Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.

[The Celtic Gypsy]

And who can forget
Cole's Law: shredded cabbage

[sharpdressedscot]

"When in doubt, ducht it." (forgot how to spell, I think that's it though.)

[Chrissss]

One of my favorites, taught to me by my father:

"There's never time to do it right, but always time to do it over..."

Chris...

[ncof300d]

One of my favorites, taught to me by my father:

"There's never time to do it right, but always time to do it over..."

Chris...

Sad but true. I see this so often in business. It generates much waste.

[cacunn]

Correlary to Chrissss' law:

We know how to do it right, its just that we have other priorities.

[The Wizard of BC]

The Law of Construction.

When buying nails for your project you must remember that you do not throw out the nails in the box that have the heads on the wrong side. You save them for the other side of the project.

[Big Mikey]

Zane Grey's Theorem of Numbers

Never insult seven men when all you have is a six gun.

[Coemgen]

Rules of Engagement:

Rule number 1: WIN.

Rule number 2: CHEAT.

Do not invade Russia in the winter. Or the spring. Or the autumn. You know what, just never invade Russia.

Never get involved in a land war in Asia.

Always aim for the hopeful young boy, never his world-weary superior.

Try not to look important; the enemy may be low on ammo.

You don't win by dying for your country; you win by letting the enemy die for their country.

If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike.

Use teamwork; it gives the enemy more targets.

Drop the pin, throw the grenade.

The Rules of the Philosophy Department of the University of Walamaloo

1: No pooftahs.

2: No member of the faculty is to maltreat the Abbos in any way whatsoever if there's anybody watching.

3: No pooftahs.

4: I don't want to catch anyone not drinking in their room after lights out.

5: No pooftahs.

6: There is no rule six.

7: No pooftahs.