The Kilt and Anxiety

[Riverkilt]

"The worst things I ever experienced never actually happened."

Hope you treasure the compliments you do get when out and about kilted.

[artificer]

"The worst things I ever experienced never actually happened."

Hope you treasure the compliments you do get when out and about kilted.

Ron,
I love that quote. I so very much sums up my anxiety as a youth.

ith:

[TheBlueCow]

There've been a lot of great ideas here. I'm really digging that 90-second rule lukeyrobertson pointed out.

I too have an anxiety issue when I'm doing something so bold as wearing a kilt. I have, as many times as not, opted to take my kilt off and put on pants before I headed out. Often, it is after I take that last glance in the mirror and get a feeling that I don't look as good in it as I want to. I think part of the problem is that I need better fitting clothing to go along with the kilt.

A lovely gal that I have been becoming friendly with recently has asked me why I wear a kilt, and as the conversation was over email I had time to reflect on the question. I pointed out that for me the biggest reason was attitude. I am able to have a bolder attitude when kilted, that helps me be less shy and feel more easy in conversation with strangers. It helps me be more comfortable with myself. I have not kilted up in a considerable while, because of a sizing issue. But after sitting down and really thinking about it, and what the kilt does for me, I'm itching for it and am working on being able to put my kilt on again. I think maybe knowing all the reasons I wear the kilt makes me feel much more confident about it. Maybe knowing "why" you wear the kilt would help you too? Don't think about how others will react. Their reactions are not worth the choices you make for yourself. It's great if they like it, but if they don't it really just doesn't matter does it? Because you like it. So for me I guess my tactic for getting over the anxiety issue is to just ignore it as best I can. And when I do buck up it's been completely worth it and I wish I could do it more often.

Also, accepting that I'm making the choice to stand out, and realizing that I'm getting extra attention because of my own choice to be different, has really helped because part of my goal is to be less shy. Maybe another trick is to wear something else that gets attention? One of my favorite shirts to wear when going casual is a tshirt that says "poop" on it. I have worn it out and had people come up to me, tell me I had an awesome shirt on, and walk away without saying a single thing about the kilt. I get a kick out of it every time!

I hope you find a way to kick out the anxiety--I'm rootin' for ya!

[GreenDragon]

I used to park up the street from my house (parking on our street at the time was strange. Limited parking. When I'd mow our front lawn, I'd move my car.) and during the walk to my car while kilted I was always waiting for the neighborhood kids / teenagers to appear and do what teenagers do.

[CMcG]

<snip>
Has anyone else had this feeling. How did/do you overcome?

I am not prone to panic or anxiety attacks, in the medical sense of those words. If one is experiencing those things, it is possible that a doctor might be able to help...

I have, however, had anxious doubt before stepping out wearing the kilt. This occurred on two occasions and both times I ended up feeling out of place. The first was when I ran errands in my kilt and the second was going out for a nice dinner with my lass.

In my analysis after the fact, it was because the kilt itself felt out of place. In Canada's largest city, one sees various types of national attire on a daily basis and no-one bats an eye. On those two occasions where I felt nervous, no-one made any negative comments at all. The feeling was coming from me!

This lead me to conclude that I prefer to reserve my public kilting for special occasions like weddings or specifically Gaelic events like Burns Night or Saint Patrick's Day. In the first blossom of an interest in kilting, many members of the rabble feel compelled to wear the kilt as often as possible. If that works for you, great! If it doesn't, there is no shame in wearing the kilt only for events.

That being said, I wear a kilt around the house quite often

On another track of thought about this issue, I definitely feel more comfortable about wearing the kilt to special events now that I have more and better kit. The amazingly knowledgable members of this forum have helped me to understand the maze of dress codes in regards to formality, so that I can dress appropriately for the occasion. It's not to say that I felt really anxious when I had less kit. But I have definitely noticed a relationship between feeling confident in the kilt and having enough gear to put together proper outfits for any event I might attend.

Cowher, I seem to recall reading that you play in a pipe band. Do you experience anxiety about the kilt as a uniform with them?

[NorCalPiper]

Hey MAtt-
Chin up, walk with a 100 yard stare, don't engage anyone that may seem to be ready to heckle. In my 35 years of kilting (began when I was 5), I've never been heckled or cooked up in a corner. Be ready to dispense knowledge......Like when you get ,"Hey nice skirt"...."No, no, no friend.....WOMEN wear skirts, MEN wear kilts". Say it with a norcalpiper josh grim face and the point quickly gets across. Most people are scared to wear a kilt because of the association with certain lifestyle groups, or may fall prey to masculinity issues. Forget both....keep calm.....kilt on!

[jrmiller]

I coaxed myself out one step at a time -- for instance, just go sit in the car, then once you are comfortable in the car, drive around the block. You don't *have* to get out... Then perhaps, just perhaps, get out and visit a store where nobody knows you.

Take tiny steps, once you internalize the fact that no one really cares what you wear (so long as you are decent), your courage will build.

[Cowher]

Snip...
Cowher, I seem to recall reading that you play in a pipe band. Do you experience anxiety about the kilt as a uniform with them?

No if I'm doing something with pipes I kilt up Ready to go with out the slightest doubt. I have even been at the pump with my can and have been asked "what's up with the kilt?" I tell them I'm a piper and the beg me to play something for them. I haven't taken the full set out and tuned up but I'll explain the pipes a bit and play a which tune on just the chanter (not PC the big chanter).

I have to explain my wifes stance on the kilt a bit more. She likes it and loves how I look in it but she thinks it should be reserved for special events.

It's funny. I live in a town of wannabe gangsters. The women all wear sweatpants or pajamas and flip-flops. They all have multiple children and the kids are (sadly) gross. The "men" are wearing shirts 5 sizes to big and jeans 5 sizes to big. Belted tight just under their @ss. They waddle around town and look like fools. I tell you honestly that is 99% of the people on the streets in my neighborhood.
I don't and don't want to ever look like that and would have plenty to say if they said something to me. They would say it in Spanish but then again I'm not so bad at it either. There is nothing better than asking some one a question in Spanish just after they were talking about you thinking you had no idea.

Tulloch: I'll take you up on that. I know of the British Beer Company in Framingham or The Haven in JP. Maybe we can work up a kilt night soon.

[rondo]

Hmmm...I must not have the anxiety gene. The only times I've felt like that are when things I am wearing obviously clash. Or, in the Navy, when I knew some part of my uniform was 'off'. Other than that, I'm comfortable in hats, cowboy gear, biker gear, kilts, really anything. I have noticed that the people around me that are uncomfortable in what they are wearing seem to ease up when with me. So I'm thinking it might be the best confidence builder if you kilt up with friends and have a kilt night at a Celtic bar somewhere.
Rondo

[chrisupyonder]

Well I did our big weekly shop kilted in the pouring rain but did not get too wet.
No one took any notice in the supermarket except a smile from a couple of old ladies .

The only person who did make a nice comment, was an American tourist guy from Kentucky about in his 50's, while I was paying the bill in the cafe after lunch. He said he had been here almost a week and I was the first kilt he had seen. He asked was I on holiday and I said no, we live here. So chatted for a few minutes and he said they were going to Orkney next. I said you won't see any kilts over there, they are all Vikings. He laughed and said have a nice day. (do you guys over the pond still say that ) and off he went and looked like he was happy to actually see a kilt in Scotland.

So no more anxiety for me. I may never wear pants again. (well maybe when its VERY windy)

It's all in your mind in the end so just go for it.

Chris.