Wedding Attire

[berserkbishop]

I like those looks Glen, but in a lot of places you would still stand out as being over dressed, even at a wedding. To me, showing up dressed obviously better than everyone else also shows some disrespect, even if you think it ought to be appropriate. Others could feel you were trying to show yourself as better than them. It's a sad but true situation. Like you said, maybe the pendulum will swing back the other way some day.

I went to a wedding a couple of years back and wore a sport jacket and tie. I was still dressed better than 90% of the people there. Mostly it was slacks and a few ties, but there were also many t-shirts. And this was a wedding in a church with the weddings party in tuxedos.

My thought is to dress well, but not so well that you stand out from everyone else. That's the bride's and maybe the groom's job.

I second that. I know what it is like to be overdressed and feel uncomfortable because everyone else had not dressed for the occasion.

BB

[Panache]

I second that. I know what it is like to be overdressed and feel uncomfortable because everyone else had not dressed for the occasion.

I have been in many situations where in comparison to others I have been overdressed, oddly enough I have never felt the least uncomfortable about it!

I am me.

I am a gentleman.

As such I dress in a certain manner. It isn't at all unusal for me to wear a jacket or tie normally therefore why would I dress down for a special occasion?

Cheers

Jamie

[McMurdo]

I like those looks Glen, but in a lot of places you would still stand out as being over dressed, even at a wedding. To me, showing up dressed obviously better than everyone else also shows some disrespect, even if you think it ought to be appropriate. Others could feel you were trying to show yourself as better than them. It's a sad but true situation. Like you said, maybe the pendulum will swing back the other way some day.

I do not look down on people because of what they are wearing, I try my best to look presentable wherever I go and to my mind if I am being invited to a wedding or similar function then those outfits would all work and would always be appropriate for a function like that, and the people that know me know I'm not looking down on them.

I went to a wedding a couple of years back and wore a sport jacket and tie. I was still dressed better than 90% of the people there. Mostly it was slacks and a few ties, but there were also many t-shirts. And this was a wedding in a church with the weddings party in tuxedos.

I do not feel the need to dress like a slob because others do.

My thought is to dress well, but not so well that you stand out from everyone else. That's the bride's and maybe the groom's job.

I really don't think that dressing to a Semi Formal level at a wedding would put you in a position that you stood out from everyone else, a couple of years ago I was at my brothers wedding, the one I bought the tuxedo for, it was a very hot day in the midle of the summer, the Groomsmen all wore our tuxedos all, the bridesmaids wore their gowns and for the most part the guests wore suits, and gowns we all did this out of respect for the Bride and Groom and their families.

[MacMillan of Rathdown]

It's not a matter of being over-dressed.
It's not a matter of being under-dressed.
It's all about being well-dressed for the occasion.

It doesn't matter if some are over-dressed.
It doesn't matter if some are under-dressed.
What matters is that you are properly dressed for the occasion.

Weddings, funerals, bar-mitzvahs, whatever. If you are in doubt as to how you should dress look at any one of the etiquette books out there and, if you are wearing a kilt, dress appropriately from the waist up and the knees down.

As a rule of thumb, unless you are attending a costume party, don't go looking like an extra from the movie "KIDNAPPED". Other than that, wear exactly what every one else is wearing, substituting "kilt" for "pants".

Dressing properly at these events is all about dressing well and common sense, not the consensus of opinion of a bunch of people who (in all likely hood) haven't been invited to the event you are going to.

A gentleman knows the rules (or looks them up) and follows them out of a sense of respect for his host.

[davedove]

You know, as I think about it more, I believe it is more a matter of people not having any idea of how to dress, at least a majority of them. At one time, most people had an idea of the appropriate level of dress for an event. In recent years, either people are not taught that, or they just don't care. And of course with the general casualization of society, even the rules from days past will have changed some.

Perhaps what more people need to do is specify the level of dress in invitations, rather than assuming everyone will know what is appropriate.

As an example of how things have changed, I saw an old episode of the Andy Griffith Show the other night. Aunt Bee had won a trip to Mexico and everyone was at the airport to see her off. All the men and boys had on their jackets and ties just to see her off. My, how that has changed.

[Kilted in Maine]

You know, as I think about it more, I believe it is more a matter of people not having any idea of how to dress, at least a majority of them. At one time, most people had an idea of the appropriate level of dress for an event. In recent years, either people are not taught that, or they just don't care. And of course with the general casualization of society, even the rules from days past will have changed some.

Perhaps what more people need to do is specify the level of dress in invitations, rather than assuming everyone will know what is appropriate.

As an example of how things have changed, I saw an old episode of the Andy Griffith Show the other night. Aunt Bee had won a trip to Mexico and everyone was at the airport to see her off. All the men and boys had on their jackets and ties just to see her off. My, how that has changed.

Just look at old footage at sporting events. Jackets, Ties and hats (no, not baseball hats)....they have been replaced by t-shirts, shorts and sometimes even "body paint"!!

[PiobBear]

I am a gentleman. As such I dress in a certain manner.

I do not feel the need to dress like a slob because others do.

A gentleman knows the rules (or looks them up) and follows them out of a sense of respect for his host.

I attend literally dozens of funerals, weddings, receptions, dinners, and whatnot every year, ranging from casual Hawaiian-shirt beach weddings to very formal black-tie affairs, and for the life of me, after much consideration I can't recall a single incident of someone who stood out as being overdressed for the occasion. The guy who showed up in gray gym shorts, flip-flops, and a T-shirt for a funeral (I'm not making this up!), now that stands out, and it seems that there are several of those at almost every event I attend; how one "pays their respects" to a new bride or grieving family dressed to cut the grass on Saturday morning I simply can't fathom. Unlike McMurdo, I do look down on people who should know better; especially those who do know better, but simply can't be bothered; now that's disrespect. As Davedove says, it appears that a lot of people simply have no clue regarding appropriate dress.

As Panache & McMurdo said, I am a gentleman. I dress commensurate to the occasion, I open the door for my wife, I uncover when I go indoors. Like wearing a kilt, I do this regardless of what others may think. When in the company of others who for whatever reason don't do so, rather than feel even slightly uncomfortable, I take pride in upholding traditions and values that were inculcated since childhood and not actively contributing to the decline and fall of civilization.

Now, if you want to hear a real rant, ask me about cell phones!

[kiltedsawyer]

"I do look down on people who should know better; especially those who do know better, but simply can't be bothered; now that's disrespect."

Piobear, I am certain in your remarks that a man raised here in Athens, GA also understands that not all are endowed with the same financial abilities and that your downward perspective would not be aimed at those who did their best within their abilities but simply could not affort what we might consider appropriate attire. (Gym shorts and flip-flops excluded.) Certainly you would agree that a true gentleman would not encourage anyone to not be in attendance for lack of said attire but would appreciate that they did their best to be respectful of the event's host(s.)
Sincerely,
David

[berserkbishop]

I attend literally dozens of funerals, weddings, receptions, dinners, and whatnot every year, ranging from casual Hawaiian-shirt beach weddings to very formal black-tie affairs, and for the life of me, after much consideration I can't recall a single incident of someone who stood out as being overdressed for the occasion. The guy who showed up in gray gym shorts, flip-flops, and a T-shirt for a funeral (I'm not making this up!), now that stands out, and it seems that there are several of those at almost every event I attend; how one "pays their respects" to a new bride or grieving family dressed to cut the grass on Saturday morning I simply can't fathom. Unlike McMurdo, I do look down on people who should know better; especially those who do know better, but simply can't be bothered; now that's disrespect. As Davedove says, it appears that a lot of people simply have no clue regarding appropriate dress.

As Panache & McMurdo said, I am a gentleman. I dress commensurate to the occasion, I open the door for my wife, I uncover when I go indoors. Like wearing a kilt, I do this regardless of what others may think. When in the company of others who for whatever reason don't do so, rather than feel even slightly uncomfortable, I take pride in upholding traditions and values that were inculcated since childhood and not actively contributing to the decline and fall of civilization.

Now, if you want to hear a real rant, ask me about cell phones!

I think there is a generation gap issue here. As far as opening doors for ladies, that was never a part of my up bringing. I have tried to do it for girlfriends and at best they look at me like I'm crazy, at worst I get a "what you think I can't open a door myself." In my experience, the only time I have gotten away with opening a car door for a lady was at prom! Its called feminism. I dont think this is a downfall of civilization, i think it is just a progression. We dont wear powdered wigs anymore, is that a downfall of civilization?

Anyway, this is supposed to be a thread about Yeti and his wedding outfit. I say a dress shirt and tie with the kilt will be enough, and a vest would look really dapper. I understand not being able to afford and argyle at a moments notice.


BB

[PiobBear]

Piobear, I am certain in your remarks that a man raised here in Athens, GA also understands that not all are endowed with the same financial abilities and that your downward perspective would not be aimed at those who did their best within their abilities but simply could not afford what we might consider appropriate attire. (Gym shorts and flip-flops excluded.) Certainly you would agree that a true gentleman would not encourage anyone to not be in attendance for lack of said attire but would appreciate that they did their best to be respectful of the event's host(s.)
Sincerely,
David

It has absolutely nothing to do with class or socioeconomic status; anybody who isn't homeless and living out of a shopping cart can go to a thrift store and pick up a presentable suit or blazer, shirt, and tie for a few dollars. I'm not talking white tie & tails.