Etiquette Help

[OC Richard]

I'm not a "full time kilt wearer" and usually only wear Highland Dress when I'm working as a piper. However, I've not owned a suit in over 20 years and on those rare occasions when I attend an event where a suit is expected I wear Highland Dress. (Black Argyll jacket, kilt, black fur sporran, charcoal hose for a rather muted look).

Come to think of it, I've only attended two weddings over that time that I've not played pipes at, and at one of them Renaissance costume was required. (I wore a full normal Renaissance outfit, no kilt.)

At the other, no one seemed other than pleased at my appearance. I knew most of the people well and they expected the kilt anyway.

It's actually difficult for me to imagine a bride so obsessed with holding 100% of everyone's attention that she must dictate to guests how to dress. A person that self-absorbed isn't going to enjoy her own wedding no matter how it turns out.

[Tiny]

Aside from some blue BDU's I wear for my job I don't wear p@nts. going to a wedding or a funeral I see it as disrespectfull not to dress in my best. I might go with more muted colors for a wedding or my solid black kilt for a funeral.

Thats not to say that if I was in the wedding party I would go kilted if they didn't request it. Honestly I would never have even thought to ask permission to wear my kilt to someones wedding. my friends and family all know I wear a kilt full time and I doubt any of them would expect me to show up to such events wearing p@nts. I think if I went in p@nts it would cause more attention then had I worn a kilt.

[Kilted Fireman]

Last year close friends of ours got married and I was asked to be in the wedding party. Now they know me to wear my kilt as often as I can. Usually at gatherings I am hosting or other "proper" occasions. I jokingly mentioned that I would wear my kilt and quickly understood their position. I continued to threaten to wear it but had no real intentions to spoil the brides day. I did however wear it to the rehersal dinner where they had to explain it to their parents. All found it amusing and the big day went off beautifully.

That being said I have to completely agree with Rocky and check with the bride first. Remember this is the day she dreamed of since she was a wee lass.

[piperdbh]

It's actually difficult for me to imagine a bride so obsessed with holding 100% of everyone's attention that she must dictate to guests how to dress. A person that self-absorbed isn't going to enjoy her own wedding no matter how it turns out.

...and the groom's not going to enjoy the marriage.

However, the day is about the happy couple, not about the guests.

[Rx2000]

As someone who just tied the knot while kilted in the fall, I would have loved to have had more men show up in kilts. I don't recall any of the people who came in jeans and sneakers, or in full rhinestone cowboy gear asking our permission, but we were having too much fun to worry about it.

If you're in the wedding party, I would definitely leave your wardrobe decision to the bride and groom. Offer your suggestions if asked, but otherwise, just go with the flow for their special day.

I can see the concern with being the only person kilted as a guest and standing out too much, but if it is your normal formal wear, and appropriate to the level of formality of the event I don't see why it would be a problem with anyone. For most weddings I've attended, pretty much anything with a dress shirt, tie, and jacket will cover you as a guest. Do you think the bride is expecting you to double check whether she'd prefer you wear your black double-breasted jacket, or your blue pin-striped 3-piece suit?



Just as an aside, would the tartan of your kilt affect the appropriateness? Off the top of my head (and the standard rental rack)a bright royal stewart definitely makes more of a splash than the black watch. Thoughts?

ren