A decision has been made...

[dana]

Hey Everybody,

Whew.... OK, everything is fine with my relationship with my wife. We don't need counseling, confrontation or anything like that. We just need to understand each other better. That's a daily process that all relationships go through. I'm sure everything will work out in the end

Thanks for everyone's concern. I feel like this has blown up into a much bigger deal than it should have. Let's all just enjoy the places we are in the kilted community and support each other. Sometimes we just don't have all the easy answers to life's questions.

I'm sure everyone is getting tired of hearing about this, so maybe we should just move on now and get back to discussing kilts and such.

I'll keep you all informed as to any changes that may happen down the road.

dana

[Hamish]

Dana,

On second thoughts, maybe I rushed into making my earlier response without knowledge of the full facts. That I did so was simply because I value the loving relationship between wife/husband/partner almost above all else. A true partnership is made of give-and-take, and is usually stronger because of it.

However, I now am getting the impression that rather than your wife not 'liking' you to wear your kilts, she is in some way manipulating or controlling you in respect of them - even when she is not with you. If that is the case, then a different light is being thrown on the situation, and it seems to me that a compromise is called for.

Were I in your position, I believe I would respect my wife's dislike of The Kilt and would not wear it when with her. When doing my own thing, however, I might feel I could don The Kilt and go about my business.

Och! It's very difficult for those not personally involved. Good luck, and

[dana]

Dana,

On second thoughts, maybe I rushed into making my earlier response without knowledge of the full facts. That I did so was simply because I value the loving relationship between wife/husband/partner almost above all else. A true partnership is made of give-and-take, and is usually stronger because of it.

On this point I couldn't agree with you more.

However, I now am getting the impression that rather than your wife not 'liking' you to wear your kilts, she is in some way manipulating or controlling you in respect of them - even when she is not with you. If that is the case, then a different light is being thrown on the situation, and it seems to me that a compromise is called for.

I'm am not feeling like she is trying to controll me in the least. I'm sure a compromise will be reached in some form.

Were I in your position, I believe I would respect my wife's dislike of The Kilt and would not wear it when with her. When doing my own thing, however, I might feel I could don The Kilt and go about my business.

Och! It's very difficult for those not personally involved. Good luck, and

Hamish,

I'm glad we're comfortable enough with each other that we want to offer assistance as best we can. It goes to show that we care for each other greater than our choice of clothes.

dana

[Rob]

dana,

If your wife thinks you look like a Catholic schoolgirl when wearing a kilt, all I can say is that she must have a vivid imagination. I have never seen a Catholic schoolgirl who looks anything like you. LOL

By the way, does your wife wear trousers? If so, how would she like it if you complained that she looked like a schoolboy? Marriage should be a two way thing, not one partner dictating to the other.

Rob

[philibeg]

Its amazing how emotionally involved we obviously all feel! Your situation has struck a nerve and we're all smarting!

[g koch]

By the way, does your wife wear trousers?

Rob

As an aside, (and in no way refering to anyone on this lists' spouses) I've found that the most disapproving looks I get are from heavy, short-haired women in trousers.

Dana, I'm sure you'll work it out.....the side that loses the first battle often wins the war.

[Graham]

Hi Dana, I can't believe I missed this post, I'm sorry for not responding sooner.

We have much in common, married around the same number of years and my wife too did not like the kilt wearing, in fact still wishes i didn't wear it ALL the time.

I guess the difference is that we have reached an understanding and she accepts my decision.

I have to respect your decision, it's yours to make, and your marriage is more important that any article of clothing.

Personally, I wouldn't be too hasty about getting rid of the kilt. Things change, you wife may soften on the issue, especially if you take her on that trip to Scotland

I know it's not easy sometimes for two creative people both going through the changes that life brings to always be totally synchronised. However, I pray that you'll work it out together, through your love for her and her respect for your headship.

[Buddha]

I'm am not feeling like she is trying to controll me in the least. I'm sure a compromise will be reached in some form.

well, here is my 2 cents after watching this...

she has already succeeded in controlling you by having you now wear the kilt. What did she give up? She gave up nothing, you gave up everything. You're in denial, my now non-kilt wearing freind.

As for a compromise, you've already given her all she wanted, so she DOESN'T have to compromise.

[Rigged]

What advice would a parent or sibling give to a daughter or sister under the same circumstances?

[Riverkilt]

The trouble with "being in denial" is that by definition, the person its happening to is unaware of it and can't be convinced of it.

Now, "denial" is called the "precontemplation stage of change" The person hasn't even thought about changing their ways.

A person always has three choices, keep doing the same thing, change, or commit suicide.

As much as I'd love Dana to do things "my way" he's gonna do things "his way" just like I'm always gonna do things "my way."

America's a great country, we allow others to do their thing in exchange for them letting us do ours....sorta, kinda, maybe a little bit...

Brain fade.....pssssszzzzz

Ron