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  1. #61
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    I have a few thoughts, as a woman, a wife, and a person who loves the kilt and all it signifies.

    I admire your loving attitude toward your wife, Dana. I see your situation, as you describe it, as a case of your not wanting to hurt your wife, in view of her strong feelings about wearing the kilt, rather than a case of her trying to dominate and control you. You are very kind to care so much about how she feels. You are being the stronger person, not the weaker one. Her weakness is that she can't let go of her negative feelings (or fears), even though she knows you want her to accept your desire to be kilted. Your strength is that you care more about how she feels than about your personal desires. She is the one who is being dominated and controlled -- not by you, but by whatever is driving her objections to your wearing the kilt. You recognise that she can't easily overcome that weakness right now, and so you are willing to shoulder the burden by giving up the kilt for the time being. It's a noble act of self-sacrifice, really. You can be proud of your mature, manly compassion for your wife -- it's a virtue that is too rare in our 'me-first' society.

    I wish I could magically transmit some of my own thoughts and feelings about men in kilts to your wife's mind and heart! In my humble opinion, there's nothing more sexy and masculine than a man in a kilt!

    You know best how well she would accept being taken along to venues full of kilted men, such as Celtic festivals and Highland games. If you have an interest in Scottish or Celtic culture beyond wearing the kilt, you might try suggesting that you attend some such events together. I think if she were around a lot of virile, kilted guys for a day or two she might feel a bit more relaxed about the issue. On the other hand, if she thought you were dragging her along to something merely to try to desensitise her to kilts, naturally she would resent it! No one wants to feel they are being manipulated by trickery or deceit. But if you have a sincere interest in other things -- the athletic events, the pipe bands, Celtic music, clan heritage, history, etc. -- then you could legitimately pursue those interests without a mention of the kilt. She might be persuaded, eventually, to see it the other way round -- that in some situations, at least, you look like the odd man out without a kilt!

    '...in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make' (or give)... To paraphrase someone even more famous than the Beatles (their statement to the contrary notwithstanding), 'Greater love hath no man than to lay down his kilt for another!' You will have your reward, one way or another, for being such a loving guy.

    Stick with the forum -- it seems to be full of other guys who are as thoughtful and kind as you are! And that's good company to keep, whether kilted or not.

  2. #62
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riverkilt
    Now, "denial" is called the "precontemplation stage of change"
    Spoken like a true professional counselor!


  3. #63
    Join Date
    30th January 04
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    Lincoln County, KY
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    Dana,

    "You will have your reward, one way or another, for being such a loving guy. "

    Thistle is righteous.

    I tip my hat.

    ambrose

  4. #64
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    13th December 04
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    WOW! Thanks Cyndi for your kind words. I think you've grasped the situation far better than most. It really means a lot that you understand.

    All is not lost. She is going to attend the tartan day celebration with me. We will be meeting Todd and his wife and I'm sure we'll see many a kilted man. This may be a big turning point . I did give away my Cambell kilt already, but I still have the Sport kilt hanging in the basement closet, which she knows about. I know it's not a good representation of a proper kilt, but it's all I have at this point. We'll see what happens after April 2nd.

    I was thinking as I read your comments, I wish I had a tartan that I had some connection with. I could use this as a starting point, using my interest in a particular tartan to get her interested too.

    I doubt I have any Scot in my blood, but I was in the Marines and we did name or son Cameron without even knowing the Scottish connection there. So maybe that's a start.

    Thanks for your support.

    dana

  5. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by dana
    WOW! Thanks Cyndi for your kind words. I think you've grasped the situation far better than most. It really means a lot that you understand.
    I'm glad. Thanks for saying so!

    Quote Originally Posted by dana
    All is not lost. She is going to attend the tartan day celebration with me. We will be meeting Todd and his wife and I'm sure we'll see many a kilted man. This may be a big turning point . I did give away my Cambell kilt already, but I still have the Sport kilt hanging in the basement closet, which she knows about. I know it's not a good representation of a proper kilt, but it's all I have at this point. We'll see what happens after April 2nd.

    I was thinking as I read your comments, I wish I had a tartan that I had some connection with. I could use this as a starting point, using my interest in a particular tartan to get her interested too.

    I doubt I have any Scot in my blood, but I was in the Marines and we did name or son Cameron without even knowing the Scottish connection there. So maybe that's a start.

    Thanks for your support.

    dana
    Well now... you DO HAVE a tartan with a personal connection -- the Leatherneck tartan of the USMC! I can get you pretty much anything you want made in it. See http://www.tartansauthority.com/web/...rtan=By+Tartan to see what it looks like! (Click the small image to see it enlarged.) Maybe get just a necktie in it, to start with...

  6. #66
    macwilkin is offline
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    Leatherneck...

    You know, Dana, I think Cyndi has hit on something here:

    Well now... you DO HAVE a tartan with a personal connection -- the Leatherneck tartan of the USMC!
    The Leatherneck tartan may very well be a tartan to get your wife behind you in your kilt-wearing. I'm sure your wife is proud of your service and knows how important it is to you, so the Leatherneck tartan may be a way for you to display your pride and wear a kilt at the same time. And there's not just the tartan, but USMC badges like the ones offered on this site:

    http://scottishregalia.com/

    Click on the link for Marine regalia, and you will see USMC kilt belt buckles, cap badges, etc.

    Also, check out:

    http://www.marinepipers.com/

    I have to tip my bonnet to the Marines for taking up the "tartan banner" so enthusiastically, and for being so aware of their history in general -- of all the branches of the service I worked with in the Park Service, the Marines were always the most fun, because they knew their history!

    Cheers,

    Todd

  7. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by dana
    I did give away my Cambell kilt already
    It's probably a Good Thing that you gave away the Campbell kilt. If you'd worn it to any events attended by some of those spiteful MacDonalds that Ron (Riverkilt) and others have been meeeting at the clan tents, you'd be likely to get the stuffing knocked out of you! (Google 'Glencoe Massacre' for an explanation of this remark!)

  8. #68
    macwilkin is offline
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    Campbells...

    It's probably a Good Thing that you gave away the Campbell kilt. If you'd worn it to any events attended by some of those spiteful MacDonalds that Ron (Riverkilt) and others have been meeeting at the clan tents, you'd be likely to get the stuffing knocked out of you! (Google 'Glencoe Massacre' for an explanation of this remark!)
    Check out this article on Electric Scotland -- it steers away from all of the anti-Campbell propaganda and points out the fact that the Campbells as a clan had nothing to do with the massacre:

    http://www.electricscotland.com/book...on/glencoe.htm

    Cheers,

    Todd

  9. #69
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    Re: Campbells...

    Quote Originally Posted by cajunscot
    the Campbells as a clan had nothing to do with the massacre
    I'm glad you pointed that out, Todd! It's well past time to let go of hostilities about an event that happened more than 300 years ago, anyway! But I bet the chap that criticised Ron for wearing his Macdonald of the Isles tartan would have something unpleasant to say to anyone in Campbell garb, as well!

  10. #70
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    My mother is a member of the DAR and one lady there is a Campbell. The two of them needle each other a bit during the social part of the meetings, but it's good natured fun between em. The old feuds don't mean much to most folks today, but can provide a bit of amusement.

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