Kilt Remarks & Such

[JS Sanders]

During interludes at piping gigs, it’s not unusual for attendees to approach and initiate a conversation. Being an amiable sort, I’m inclined to reciprocate.

Many people want to be considerate to a performer and demonstrate this with light conversation. Countless gigs have resulted and I've become acquainted with a wide variety of folks from all walks of life.

I've heard these remarks & questions multiple times..... I'm certain they're countless more out there.

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"How long have you been playing bagpipes?"

“Have you ever eaten haggis?” (bleecchhh)

“How long did it take you to learn the bagpipes?”

"How did you get into playing the bagpipes?" (this is #1 FAQ - heard at almost every gig)

"Is that a knife in your sock? Why?"

"I have Scottish on one side and Irish on the other, that makes me Scotch-Irish."

“Are those bagpipes real?” (???)

"Are those hard to play?"

"I'm a Mac______ ." (invariably leads to the following...)

"Lemme tell you my family's Scottish history." (20 minutes of my life forever gone)

"What clan is your plaid?" (‘plaid’ is an incorrectly used term – it’s ‘tartan’)

“I have some bagpipes that cost $200. Can you show me how to play them?”

"WOW! I didn't know songs other than Amazing Grace can be played on the bagpipes?!" (These people probably vote)

"Bagpipes are for funerals only."

“I didn’t know bagpipes could be tuned.”

"I have a family plaid and it’s got blue, green, and red in it." (it’s ‘TARTAN’!)

“Boxers or briefs?”

"My son just loves Braveheart."

”Can I try playing your bagpipes?”

"I hate those things (pipes), but my daughter insisted on having you perform anyway."

"Duuuude... you are soooo awesome...!!" (with slurred speech)

"Are you really Scottish?" (I’m from Tennessee – do I sound even remotely Scottish?)

“Are you really Irish?” (I’m from Tennessee – do I sound even remotely Irish?)

“Have you ever been to any Highland Games?”

"You are gorgeous. Can I go home with you? (a female who's overindulged a bit)

“I play the _______. Bagpipes would be easy to learn.” (as my eyes roll backwards 180 degrees)

“Really? There's written music for bagpipes?"

Slainte yall,
steve

[Woodsman]

I guess by wearing a kilt we are putting ourselves on a pedestal, so to speak.

[RakesOfMallow]

HAHAHA

I'm still relatively new to piping and kilt wearing (about 2 years for the pipes and 1 for the kilt) and already, I've heard many many many of those. Thanks for a good laugh.

Cheers!

Tom

[McGurk]

No matter how intelligent or knolagable someone is, you can always make yourself look daft with an innocent question.

[Kilt TN]

McGurk you might want to type a bit slower unless there is a different english spelling.... knowlagable not knolagable don't want anyone to thing you daft

[RakesOfMallow]

the only thing worse is to misspell the word again. hahaha...sorry it's the teacher in me.

knowledgeable

[mbhandy]

knowledgeable not knolagable ?
Could be the wrong em-phas-is on the wrong si-li-ble.
I only play at the Chanter and I hear most of those.

MrBill

[SFCRick]

Tis proof of the old saying, " better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you might be stupid, than to open it and remove all doubt"

[RakesOfMallow]

I have a feeling this thread is getting moved to Off Topic in a hurry...

[Pleater]

These could all - with a little charity, be put under 'gosh I want to talk to them, whatever can I say that might be engaging?'

If you want to have heard some really truly awfully naff one liners you should try having been a female folk singer in the 70's - when 80 percent of the young male audience claimed to be able to put me in contact with a record producer. The involvement in the record industry increased with the age of the hopeful.

Its quite funny really - if you look at it the right way.