During interludes at piping gigs, it’s not unusual for attendees to approach and initiate a conversation. Being an amiable sort, I’m inclined to reciprocate.

Many people want to be considerate to a performer and demonstrate this with light conversation. Countless gigs have resulted and I've become acquainted with a wide variety of folks from all walks of life.

I've heard these remarks & questions multiple times..... I'm certain they're countless more out there.

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"How long have you been playing bagpipes?"

“Have you ever eaten haggis?” (bleecchhh)

“How long did it take you to learn the bagpipes?”

"How did you get into playing the bagpipes?" (this is #1 FAQ - heard at almost every gig)

"Is that a knife in your sock? Why?"

"I have Scottish on one side and Irish on the other, that makes me Scotch-Irish."

“Are those bagpipes real?” (???)

"Are those hard to play?"

"I'm a Mac______ ." (invariably leads to the following...)

"Lemme tell you my family's Scottish history." (20 minutes of my life forever gone)

"What clan is your plaid?" (‘plaid’ is an incorrectly used term – it’s ‘tartan’)

“I have some bagpipes that cost $200. Can you show me how to play them?”

"WOW! I didn't know songs other than Amazing Grace can be played on the bagpipes?!" (These people probably vote)

"Bagpipes are for funerals only."

“I didn’t know bagpipes could be tuned.”

"I have a family plaid and it’s got blue, green, and red in it." (it’s ‘TARTAN’!)

“Boxers or briefs?”

"My son just loves Braveheart."

”Can I try playing your bagpipes?”

"I hate those things (pipes), but my daughter insisted on having you perform anyway."

"Duuuude... you are soooo awesome...!!" (with slurred speech)

"Are you really Scottish?" (I’m from Tennessee – do I sound even remotely Scottish?)

“Are you really Irish?” (I’m from Tennessee – do I sound even remotely Irish?)

“Have you ever been to any Highland Games?”

"You are gorgeous. Can I go home with you? (a female who's overindulged a bit)

“I play the _______. Bagpipes would be easy to learn.” (as my eyes roll backwards 180 degrees)

“Really? There's written music for bagpipes?"

Slainte yall,
steve