Kilts and Self-Identity

[TimC]

Hmm...I'm just me. Hopefully, it's enough.

-Tim

[Riverkilt]

Ahh, the old Gestalt therapy question. Ask a person, "Who are you?" However they respond you ask the question again...and again...and again...to distill things down.

I love a line in the old tv movie Queen of the Starlight Ballroom...Charles Druning responds to the lady his dancing with who has just said, "Oh, you're a postman." by saying, "No, a postman is what a do - not who I am."

As for relationships with partners who don't much like or approve of our kiltwearing I like what Sam Keen says, "First figure out where you are going, THEN figure out who's going with you."

My guess is many of you were "ambushed" by kilts just as I was as the kilt fashion boom swept past you. Not something we thought about when we were getting to know our partners.

In addiction recovery we'd call it an "unexpected exposure." In this case to a new highly addictive drug.

Perhaps we've even spent so much time with the kilt world that its as if we're having an affair. We think we're fine and still us...and our partner redefines who we are in her mind.

We're not who she entered a relationship with...and now, she's gotta adjust or bail.

Ron

[Ayin McFye]

No worries! I was just curious how much, or in what way kilts, kiltwearing and kiltmaking featured in peoples assesment of "who they are"...their personal identity.

With me, the answer is "not much". "Kilts" etc are a fun thing that I do that I enjoy, but they're not part of what, in my head "defines me" to myself.

I am going to have to agree with you on this. I love wearing kilts, and I usually wear my kilt about once or twice a week. But i wouldn't go as far as to say it helps define who i am. It is definitely a part of me and my life and I truly do embrace my celtic heritage, but "defining" as a part of me is just a little to strong of a word.

I am foremost a Father. My son definitely helps define who i am. I am a deep thinking over analytical individual. I never grew out of the "why" phase when I was 3. I am a member of the SCA, but only a small portion of that life influences who I am on a day to day basis.

As for the rest of me I'm still trying to figure that out. My wife left me a year and a half ago with no notice whatsoever. The life that I had created with her and my son, was completely destroyed. I'm back on my feet now, but I'm still in the process of defining who I am and what I want out of life.

Thank you for the good question Alan. Cheers!

[corbinj]

I am the hammer pounding the nail. The blade that shapes the wood. The wind that lifts the wing. The water that cuts the stone. I am the pen that writes the poem. I am the string that makes the sound . I am nothing, Without the Masters hand.

[RockyR]

I am separate from the herds of sheeple you see passing everyday.

Does my kiltwearing constitute a definition of myself? No. It is instead a tool that I can use to express what is inside me....

Do I define myself internally as a kiltwearer, no. Do the fierce sheeple who want me to be the same as they define me by my kiltwearing, yes. Will I fight tooth and nail any attempt to let them define me? You can bet your life on it.

I think I am Popeye.Cause, I YAM WHAT I YAM.

Great lines... and to add another one to the mix... "tis himself".

Bottom line... I don't try to define myself or label myself b/c I'm ever changing and evolving. Also, WHY label yourself or define yourself? Do you need to? Is there a reason you have to?

Be what you are and who you are and don't worry about others. That's what makes wearing kilts so great... as Erisianmonkey said, it's a tool we use to set us apart from others. Culturally, socially, etc... it's a fun way to be different. Does it define me (well... it kind of does define ME since it's my job)? No. Does it ADD to who I am? Yes.

When I started wearing them about 5 years ago (aside from cultural reasons and comfort reasons), I used it as a tool... I was decidedly different and knew that those who couldn't handle it wouldn't speak to me... it was an easy way to filter them out and find out who I DIDN'T want to speak to ANYWAY!

Don't let kilts define you... don't let ANYTHING or ANYONE define you. Once you're defined, there's a preceived notion of who you are and what happens when that changes? Just be.

****soapbox mode off****

[RockyR]

I It is definitely a part of me and my life and I truly do embrace my celtic heritage, but "defining" as a part of me is just a little to strong of a word.

ANOTHER great line...

I agree that kilts (or any article of clothing) shouldn't "define you". Kilts will have a MUCH bigger impact on your "social situations" than PANTS ever would, so they do CONTRIBUTE to who you are and what you experience in life (or DON'T experience), but they should not DEFINE you.

They may SHAPE you and your social experiences, but should not be the definition.

[Robinhood]

I tend to stand out in a crowd, or in
peoples memories, regardless of what
I wear. I think maybe it is partly
because I don't define myself by
what I wear, or what I do, or any
thing else. I just exist in the manner
I desire.

Maybe this alone is unusual enough
to cause people to take notice.

[CameronTaylor]

Who am I ?
I am eternal but not forever.
Rather I define myself by what I am not, When Jenn asks my how I can be understanding and patient, forgive my "friends" and enemies I say "because I'm not them".

CT - I am Allan and I am thAt dog.


imitating Matt {of Matt & Jen you might meet them at beer & kilt night sooner or later} with the tongue out heavy metal headshake.

[Nick]

Kiltio Ergo Sum.

I Kilt, therefore I am.

You, sir, are my hero!

Do kilts define us? In the words of one wit, "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." They may not define us to ourselves, but they do shape how others percieve or define us.

As for myself,

I am a husband,
I am a son,
I am a Catholic,
I am an artisan,
I am a blacksmith,
I am a sewer,
I am a maker of things but not materialistic,
I am a brother of the briar and a lover of whisky,
I am a reader of books,
I am a historian,
I am an eccentric.

And those are just a few. All these little things add up to create me, some come, some go, some stay. One can exist without the others, but no them, no me.

[McClef]

To be a hero is perhaps the ultimate accolade, many thanks Nick!

To be eccentric is good. No doubt many people see our kilt wearing as an eccentricity, at least initially.

We can all define ourselves in many ways which we see as essential and intrinsic to ourselves and can include our skills and abilities and our circumstances. As you say some come and some go and some stay. Our clothing preferences are not necessarily dependant upon these factors alone but they probably enhance them as when we feel it makes us look and feel better.