When prompted by the question "Who are you?" I am often rather taken aback, because that's a darned complicated question. That question is answered in many different ways by many people. There are cultural and gender-related trends in self-perception that could be the basis for a lengthy discussion, but I'm going to focus on kilts.

When it comes right down to it, I tend to define "who I am" by "what I do". That is in contrast with the Luminous Joan who combines "who she is" with "who she's related to"...as in, part of her answer is that she is Jim and Caroline Foote's daughter. Now I am, entirely, Frank Heberts son and proud of it, but somehow that never factors into my answer.

I am a musician. I am a thinker. I am a sailor. I am a biologist and a computer geek. I hike and I love the mountains. I am a Christian. I am a teacher and a learner. I am independent and I make my own decisions...and so on.

I *COULD* put in "I am a kiltwearer" but somehow in the overall scheme of things that are important to me, I don't feel that the fact that I wear kilts is central to who I am....central to my perception of my Self. In fact, I would say "I am a builder and creator" as part of my self-identity, and so making kilts is part of that. However, I also make music, woodwork, fences, retaining walls, essays on kilt-making, poetry, communites (of a sort) and a number of other things. "Kiltmaking" is just one facet of a wider "builder/creator" part of me.

Were someone...a job, a partner or a friend to tell me "you cannot be a sailor and have this job"..or "I won't love you if you do any more teaching", "you can't be my friend if you keep making stuff".. then that would be an abrogation of WHO I AM, a statement that that job/workplace/partner/friend didn't accept my entirety as a person. Were a supervisor to tell me, "you can't wear a kilt to work, because it's not professional" I wouldn't perceive that as the non-acceptance of who I am....I wouldn't see it as a demand to become something else, or someONE else..

When I resisted ( and loudly and firmly) the Luminous Joans vocal and body-language derision of my kilt-wearing, I was not so much angry at her take on KILT-WEARING. I would have been equally as angry if she had derided, or tried to forbid me from sailing, for example. No, what I was angry about was that she was trying to make my decisions for me, to take away or control my personal decision-making ability. I'm a pretty laid-back guy, but that sort of attempt to control doesn't sit well with me. The fact that the particular isse at haad at that time was kilt-wearing was pretty much irrelevant.

So for me, I enjoy wearing kilts. I enjoy standing out in the crowd a little bit, I enjoy some of the attention. I enjoy their comfort, and I enjoy the process of making them. I enjoy the history associated with Scottish Tartans, and I enjoy the connections I've made with people at X-marks. I enjoy the "swing"! I enjoy the slightly revolutionary and non-stereoptypical "role" I get perceived as, when wearing a contemporary kilt. I enjoy responses like the two female graduate students today who stared at me when I told them I was just about to turn 50...they said they thought I was about 40! Kilts are great! But they are not part of my self-identity...just like blue jeans and t-shirts aren't, and dress slacks and ties aren't, either.

Other people may feel differently, eh? What's your take on it, for yourself?