What to do

[Tobus]

What to do when you see something not quite right.

Being completely honest here, I usually just mind my own business. If I know the person well enough to have such a familiar conversation with them, I might suggest how to correct an issue. But I'm not one to approach strangers and let them know when they're doing it wrong, even in a friendly/helpful way. It's just not my personality type to do so, and besides, sometimes people get downright offended and defensive about these sorts of things.

[FossilHunter]

Being completely honest here, I usually just mind my own business. If I know the person well enough to have such a familiar conversation with them, I might suggest how to correct an issue. But I'm not one to approach strangers and let them know when they're doing it wrong, even in a friendly/helpful way. It's just not my personality type to do so, and besides, sometimes people get downright offended and defensive about these sorts of things.

I generally feel the same way.

However I think the OP did the right thing since the pin had a chance of damaging an expensive kilt.

[Highland Logan]

I do tend to pull people aside and offer corrective advice. It's always been taken the ways It's been intended, and I never had anyone tell me to jog on. From an ex-Army point of view; never pass a fault. This is not about feeling better about yourself, but helping someone be better. In this context, would you rather have someone save you some embarrassing moment, or find out later you were the laughing stock? And does anyone really ever want to be wrong?

Frank

[OC Richard]

With strangers I don't say anything.

In the past, even though I was trying to be helpful, and no matter how I worded it, the person always seemed to be a bit offended. Lesson learned, I keep it to myself.

It's different with friends and band-mates. I have a piper friend who is colour-blind and I will point out when his colours clash.

[Singlemalt]

I think it is possible to be helpful without insulting the other fellow. I would never say "you are wearing it wrong and let me tell you how to do it right". However I think I would be comfortable saying. "nice kilt, looks great on you. I have found mine hangs better with the pin just through the top apron".

Anyone offended by this type of approach I don't need to know anyway.

[Highland Logan]

I think it is possible to be helpful without insulting the other fellow. I would never say "you are wearing it wrong and let me tell you how to do it right". However I think I would be comfortable saying. "nice kilt, looks great on you. I have found mine hangs better with the pin just through the top apron".

Anyone offended by this type of approach I don't need to know anyway.

I was at the biggest, well known, and most high-end Burns Dinner, in my city, and there was a fellow there with his kilt on backwards. Lots of 'importaint' people go to this dinner, it's quite a place, if you're looking to network.

There is a bar on the bottom floor of the hotel where the dinner takes place, and most stop in for a couple before the reception. I seen him come in with four or five others, and they grabbed a table. After a bit, he went to the bar, so I went up and told him his kilt was on backwards. He said thanks, went to the washroom and fixed himself. When it was time to head up stairs, he said thanks again.

He was with people, not strangers.. they said nothing to him. I would hate to have been him, knowing that he would have embarrassed himself all evening long. Considering how this dinner is the top drawer event in the region, that could have cost him, depending on his goals for the evening.

You never have to be rude, you always have to pick you moment, but I feel it's best to help.

We all judge. You can say out loud that you don't, but there may be some who feel they don't like my opinion. Judgement. They may chose not to type it out, judgement none the less. Judgement can also be positive. So if you see that guy who needs a hand, be polite, find the right moment, and help him out. Maybe you help save his job, his account with a client, his chance to join a club or fraternal organization.

Frank

[OC Richard]

What was brought up above reminds me of a situation I've found myself in several times:

I'm hired to pipe at a wedding. When I arrive I'm directed to the dressing room the Groomsmen and Best Man are using.

There I find all of these fellows trying to figure out how to put on their hired kilts and such. Being the only person in the room who has worn Highland Dress before, I give them pointers as to how everything is worn.

I've seen all the issues one could imagine: backwards kilts, kilts worn with one of the two front aprons going behind, Ghillie Brogue laces going all the way up, sporrans worn to the side, flashes worn Sean Connery style.

[Dirk95]

Hi all,
Highland Logan I agree with you in helping someone out being ex army we were always checking each other over making sure we were dressed right and helping with kit it's called buddy buddy system. Tobus the guy came over to me to talk we had very cordial conversation to which he stated it was only his second time in wearing highland dress, he was very appreciative when I explained the damage that could have happened and he bought me a beer, but I do understand where your coming from.
Dirk95

[Highland Logan]

Hi all,
Highland Logan I agree with you in helping someone out being ex army we were always checking each other over making sure we were dressed right and helping with kit it's called buddy buddy system. Tobus the guy came over to me to talk we had very cordial conversation to which he stated it was only his second time in wearing highland dress, he was very appreciative when I explained the damage that could have happened and he bought me a beer, but I do understand where your coming from.
Dirk95

At the end of the day... no one wants to look like, or be thought of as a bag of hammers.

Frank

[Glenora]

I think you handled it with quiet dignity and grace.
I would not have offered the advice out of nowhere, but like you, would have mentioned the kilt pin when the conversation turned to kilt wearing.
Good job referring him to this site also.