There is actually a very nice book (ye can git hit online, wi twa CDs en aw!!) for learnin Scots (the joke translated here appears, by the use of "quine" for "lass", to be in Aiberdonian, or the variant from Aberdeen, which is also what this book is all about) called the Luath Scots Learner, by Colin Wilson. Its nice, cause once you've gotten through it you can read with little trouble the fantastic Scots literary magazine Lallans. The current issue has some very funny stories and a few lovely poems....also a translation of Baudelaire!!

Scots is a lovely language, well worth the effort and unjustly neglected and denegrated as low-class by snobish highbrows and Gaelic enthousiasts....of course the Lowlanders didn't wear kilts, but we can forgive then that can't we? And their language is an interesting relative of Chaucerian English and modern Dutch......