You know when you are getting old when...

[Southern Breeze]

You know you are getting old when....

1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.

2. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.

3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.

4. Your back goes out but you stay home.

5. When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.

6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

8. When happy hour is a nap.

9. When you're on vacation and your ENERGY runs out before your money does.

10. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to You, and you always hated it.

11. When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.

12. When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.

13. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

14. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

15. Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.

16. Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.

17. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

18. The pharmacist has become your new best friend.

19. Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.

20. The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.

21. It takes twice as long - to look half as good.

22. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.

23. You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.

24. You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.

25. You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.

26. You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.

27. You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

28. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.

[pbpersson]

26. You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.

I think I am just arriving at that stage in life. I just don't want to fight as much as I used to. Things upset me and I'm well....whatever..... Some of my fight is gone at the age of 50. It's a frightening thought. Am I starting to "mellow out"???

27. You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

I don't think I am there yet but I always found that to be a cruel joke of nature. You finally figure out what you want to do with your life and then you are too old to get out and accomplish your goals! Who in the world came up with that game plan? :confused:

[davedove]

Here's one I read somewhere:

You know you're getting old when you choose between evening entertainment based on which one will get you home earlier.

[Southern Breeze]

A few more.

Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.

You feel like the night after, and you haven't been anywhere.
Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
You get winded playing chess.
Your children begin to look middle aged.
You're still chasing women but can't remember why.
A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.
You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
You look forward to a dull evening.
You walk with your head high trying to get used to your bifocals.
Your favorite part of the newspaper is "25 Years Ago Today..."
You turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic ones.
You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
You regret all those mistakes resisting temptation.
After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying a second coat.
Dialing long distance wears you out.
You're startled the first time you are addressed as an old timer.
You just can't stand people who are intolerant.
The best part of your day is over when your alarm clock goes off.
You burn the midnight oil until 9 pm.
A fortune teller offers to read your face.
Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by.
The little gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
You have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.

[Jerry]

You start looking for places with senior discounts.

You get up at least once a night to use the facilities.

When you get up, your other half asks you to be quieter (knees popping)

The first thing you look at on a new golf course is, "how long does it play from "the senior tees"

Senior means a lot more now than it did your last year of high school

Time seems to pass at warp speed.

[timber]

When songs you remember as pop hits are showing up on the oldies station.

[pbpersson]

When songs you remember as pop hits are showing up on the oldies station.

No...you know what the worst is? When they come out with some song on the radio that you remember when it first came out and the announcer with a deep voice says, "Thirty-seven years ago today!"

That is the absolute worst! Thirty-seven years?? It seems like only yesterday....

[Scottish Chi]

When songs you remember as pop hits are showing up on the oldies station.

When songs you remember as pop hits are now used as elevator music.

I really hit me a few years ago when I heard the Rolling Stones on an elevator.

Cheers! Bill

[KiltedCodeWarrior]

...Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by....

LOL, man that is too funny! thanks for the morning chuckle!

[SSgt Baloo]

You know you're getting older...

• when the phrase "she has a great personality" doesn't trigger your "fight or flight" response.
  
• when, upon viewing a beautiful young lady, you find yourself imagining how hot her mom must be.
  
• when it takes four trips before you remember what you went into the next room for.
  
• when you don't know who's famous today, but you know who was famous 30 (or more) years ago.