You know when you are getting old when...

[pbpersson]

Okay, I thought I just had to share this....

I remembered this when someone was talking in another thread about how you should not BEND OVER when picking something up but you should squat as women do so as not to show too much.

I remarked that at my age my knees just could not take too much squatting. Now I am taking some pills that someone suggested to lubricate my joints and make me feel young again.

Anyway, I think I read this in a "mean" birthday card and it really hit home for me:

"You know you are getting old when you squat down to tie your shoelaces and then wonder what else you can get accomplished while you are down there"



Phoenix Phil

[Big Paul]

I purchased that very card for my Dad!!!

[Southern Breeze]

You know you are getting old when....

1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.

2. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.

3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.

4. Your back goes out but you stay home.

5. When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.

6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

8. When happy hour is a nap.

9. When you're on vacation and your ENERGY runs out before your money does.

10. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to You, and you always hated it.

11. When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.

12. When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.

13. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

14. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

15. Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.

16. Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.

17. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

18. The pharmacist has become your new best friend.

19. Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.

20. The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.

21. It takes twice as long - to look half as good.

22. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.

23. You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.

24. You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.

25. You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.

26. You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.

27. You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

28. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.

[pbpersson]

26. You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.

I think I am just arriving at that stage in life. I just don't want to fight as much as I used to. Things upset me and I'm well....whatever..... Some of my fight is gone at the age of 50. It's a frightening thought. Am I starting to "mellow out"???

27. You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

I don't think I am there yet but I always found that to be a cruel joke of nature. You finally figure out what you want to do with your life and then you are too old to get out and accomplish your goals! Who in the world came up with that game plan? :confused:

[davedove]

Here's one I read somewhere:

You know you're getting old when you choose between evening entertainment based on which one will get you home earlier.

[Southern Breeze]

A few more.

Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.

You feel like the night after, and you haven't been anywhere.
Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
You get winded playing chess.
Your children begin to look middle aged.
You're still chasing women but can't remember why.
A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.
You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
You look forward to a dull evening.
You walk with your head high trying to get used to your bifocals.
Your favorite part of the newspaper is "25 Years Ago Today..."
You turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic ones.
You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
You regret all those mistakes resisting temptation.
After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying a second coat.
Dialing long distance wears you out.
You're startled the first time you are addressed as an old timer.
You just can't stand people who are intolerant.
The best part of your day is over when your alarm clock goes off.
You burn the midnight oil until 9 pm.
A fortune teller offers to read your face.
Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by.
The little gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
You have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.

[GlassMan]

5. When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.

I wish I looked like my driver's license photo! In Virginia they keep your photo on file as a digital image. And for some reason they let you keep the same photo on your license for ages so I look like a young kid on my driver's license.

It is so bad that at a liquor store the clerk made a joke that normally the person looks like a child but the license claims their older. For me, I looked old but my license made me seem young. Needless to say I was not amused.

[Kilted KT]

when the hot new girl at work was born 10 years after you....and is a college grad..

[Jerry]

You know you are getting old when you can't remember what you did last week, but you have vivid memories of something that happened when you were 12 years old.

You know you are getting old when you can't remember if you forgot something.

[timber]

when the hot new girl at work was born 10 years after you....and is a college grad..

Just wait until the hot new girl at work is young enough to be your daughter