Scottish Poets

[Pour1Malt]

this yin is brill!

The Jeelie Piece Song (Skyscraper Wean)
(Adam MacNaughton)

I'm a skyscraper wean, I live on the nineteenth flair,
But I'm no gaun oot to play ony mair,
Since we moved to Castlemilk, I'm wasting away,
'Cause I'm getting one less meal every day.

O ye cannae fling pieces oot a twenty-story flat,
Seven-hundred hungry weans will testify to that,
If it's butter, cheese or jeely, if the breid is plain or pan,
The odds against it reaching earth and ninety-nine to one.

On the first day my maw flung out a piece o' Hovis brown.
It came skyting oot the winda and went up insteid o' doon,
But every twenty-seven hours it comes back into sight,
'Cause my piece went into orbit and became a satellite.

One the second day my maw flung me a piece oot once again.
It went and hit the pilot in a fast, low-flying plane.
He scraped it off his goggles, shouting through the intercom:
`The Clydeside Reds have got me wi' a breid-and-jeely bomb!'

One the third day my maw thought she would try another throw.
The Salvation Army band was staunin' doon below.
`ONWARD, CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS' was the piece they should have played,
But the oompah-man was playing a piece-on-marmalade.

We've wrote away tae Oxfam to try and get some aid,
And a' the weans in Castlemilk have formed a ``Piece'' brigade;
We're going to march to George's Square, demanding civil rights,
Like `Nae Mair Hooses Over Piece-Flinging Height!'

[Mike1]

this yin is brill!

The Jeelie Piece Song (Skyscraper Wean)
(Adam MacNaughton)

Yer a Stramash fan, are ye?

I know Adam's brother Davy.

[Pour1Malt]

Yer a Stramash fan, are ye?

I know Adam's brother Davy.

Stamash as in "commotion"? aye...

here is anither brill yin...

The Sair Finger

by Walter Wingate

You've hurt your finger? Puir wee man!
Your pinkie? Deary me!
Noo, juist you haud it that wey till
I get my specs and see!

My, so it is - and there's the skelf!
Noo, dinna greet nae mair.
See there - my needle's gotten't out!
I'm sure that wasna sair?

And noo, to make it hale the morn,
Put on a wee bit saw,
And tie a Bonnie hankie roun't
Noo, there na - rin awa'!

Your finger sair ana'? Ye rogue,
You're only lettin' on.
Weel, weel, then - see noo, there ye are,
Row'd up the same as John!

[McClef]

No collection of Scottish poetry could be without the works of the immortal Bard of Dundee - William Topaz Mcgonagall.

Described as the "best bad poet in the world", he immortalised events in Scottish history such as the Tay Bridge disaster and once walked to Balmoral Castle in the hope of being appointed Poet Laureate by Queen Victoria, only to find that she was not in residence at the time.

He has quite a following and his works are still printed to this day.

http://www.mcgonagall-online.org.uk/ is a good site for seeing his work.