Aside from perhaps trying that...

I need a job. And for that, I need a skill I can offer for cash compensation. My current job as the Flatulent Philosopher just isn't paying the bills.

Looking at my coursework, I also have books for maternity wear, kids clothing, underwear, and intimate wear...

Tartan skirts for pregnant women... I sense a market! And I could even make the "tartan teddies" that would get them pregnant in the first place.

Who could resist a half nekkid woman in a Loud McLeod teddy?