What would you do if your mother asked you?

[RockyR]

Ever see the show "Everybody Loves Raymond"? The mother in that show comes to mind.

I believe that discretion is the better part of valor. Since your wife would be seen as "neutral" in this (she's not the one in the kilt), I'd probably have HER take her mother (your MIL) aside and sit her down for "the talk". It's really more your WIFE'S place to "scold" her mother than it is yours.

Your wife should sit her down and let her mom know that NEITHER of you are comfortable with that kind of talk around the baby. You'd like to raise your child with an appreciation for different cultures and if she has negative things to say about it, she should speak to you or your wife directly and not address it with the child, even in a playful / teasing manner. While her occasional input (DIRECTLY TO YOU) is appreciated when requested, it is not expected and it was not requested in this case. Also, your wife should remind her of a very basic fact that may be VERY hard for her to swallow... while it is your MIL's Grandson, it's your SON and YOU will raise them with YOUR values, not THEIRS.

[RockyR]

BTW... please keep in mind that I can only give a "rational" response b/c I'm removed from the situation. If my MIL tried to tell me how to raise my kid or criticized the way I was doing it TO THE CHILD, I'd calmly ask her to speak to me outside, IMMEDIATELY and then explain to her that it was NOT ACCEPTABLE and that if I EVER heard that again, we'd immediately leave the party / visit / premesis with the child. But since I'm not you, I can speak calmly.