"The Wizard beamed with pride. “This is one of my greatest creations. Over 500 gallons of coffee is maintained at piping hot temperatures inside that chamber without burning the brew. It is distributed throughout my laboratory by this system of pipes.”

Well, now that you have let the cat out of the bag and blabbed to the entire world about my "FK Coffee Delivery System" (patent pending) I have been inundated with PM's and e-mails asking for me to install them for others.

I believe that if I ever fail miserably as a kiltmaker that I have a fall back career.

I have worked out a way to install "The System" using a Geothermal water source for heat and pure, naturally filtered, water. Then using a solar roasting platform which combines electric generation to operate the pumps and an old ceiling fan to evenly rake the beans while roasting, I then pipe the coffee through the entire house in a system of heat dissipation panels which are used as central heating similar to radiators. Each spigot is controlled by a laser sensing beam that eliminates the need for manual buttons or levers to dispense the coffee.
I believe that "The System" will appeal to those interested in "Green" technology as it uses no outside power, water, or other utilities. In fact you can sell the excess electricity back to the power company thereby not only paying for itself but creating enough income to pay for the coffee beans.

Captain Panache, I have installed "The System" throughout the Saltaire. During your arduous journey you will need the heat to keep the valves of the musicians instruments from freezing and the coffee will boost the moral of your crew. As you depart Victoria and cruise north I will wave you on your way from my loggia knowing that the intrepid crew of the Saltaire will not be hardshipped by lukewarm or stale coffee.

And the 100,000 candlepower scrolling marquee I installed along the sides of the Saltaire proclaiming "Powered by the FK Coffee Delivery System, get yours now, Visa and Master Card accepted" will serve as a beacon to the world.

Bon Voyage, my new friends, and may your search be a boon to sporran wearers everywhere.